
Family Law Solicitors Guide to Gifted Deposits And How to Protect Them
Our family law solicitors encounter several situations in which parents, grandparents, or extended family help a loved one with a deposit for a first or new family home.
In this article, our family law solicitors offer guidance on how to protect a gifted deposit.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce and estate planning lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
What is a gifted deposit?
A gifted deposit is where a friend or family member provides all or part of the deposit for the home you are buying. It may be your first home, relocating or upsizing with the arrival of children or trying to get back to home ownership after a separation or divorce.
An alternative to a gifted deposit is a family loan. A loan agreement can state whether interest is payable and either give a specific repayment date or state that the loan must be repaid when the property is sold.
Gifted deposit or family loan?
A home buyer needs to know if they are receiving a gift or loan because of the mortgage and tax implications.
If you are buying with a mortgage, the mortgage company may not agree to lend you the amount required unless the deposit monies are gifted rather than lent. Some mortgage providers are happy to lend if your family or a friend is providing the deposit so long as the family money is protected by a second charge that ranks behind the mortgage provided by the mortgage lender.
If extended family are giving you money as part of their estate planning and inheritance tax strategy the plan will not work unless the money is gifted rather than loaned. There may also be tax implications under current inheritance tax rules if the family member dies within seven years of giving you the money.
If money is given, rather than lent, the giver does not retain any control over the money once it has left their hands. The extended family cannot legally insist the money is returned if they later find that they need extra cash or if there is a family fallout.
These are considerations to be discussed with your family with the help of an estate planning solicitor.
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Who is the recipient of the deposit gift?
If you are buying a house with a partner, fiancée, husband or wife you need to know if the gifted deposit is a joint gift or not.
Whether the gift is joint or not you need a relationship agreement if you are buying a property jointly with a partner. The type of agreement you need depends on your relationship status:
Unmarried – a cohabitation agreement
Engaged to be married or to enter a civil partnership – a prenuptial agreement
Married – a postnuptial agreement
In a civil partnership – a civil partnership agreement
The agreement is between you and your partner and should record whether the gift is a joint one or not and what happens to the family home and the equity if you split up. What’s fair will depend on your financial and personal situation. For example, your family may have provided the gifted deposit but as your partner earns more than you, they will be paying a greater share of the mortgage payments. For example, both your families are gifting you money for the deposit but in unequal amounts.
A family law solicitor can help you work out what should go in your relationship agreement so that it feels fair to both of you and gives you both peace of mind. In addition, it should give your family confidence that you are respecting their deposited gift and sensibly protecting their family money.
If your circumstances change the relationship agreement can be reviewed and changed. For example, you may decide to get married, to have children or to extend the property. Any significant life event could prompt a review.
Gifted deposits and divorce
If you are buying a property on your own after a divorce with a gifted deposit you need:
A financial court order (preferably a clean break) order with your ex-spouse
A relationship agreement if you go on to form a new relationship and your new partner spends time at your property even if their name is not on the title deeds or mortgage
Does a relationship agreement protect a gifted deposit?
Legal & General has carried out some research on trends in family gifting. 57% of mortgaged buyers buying a first home in 2020 received financial help from their parents or family members. By 2024, around 335,000 property purchases proceeded with the help of family money. With the significant rise in property prices and gifted deposits, it isn’t surprising that parents, grandparents and extended family want to know if relationship agreements work and if their gifted deposit is protected or is shared with your partner or spouse if you split up after buying the house.
The answer to whether a relationship agreement works depends on a few factors:
The status of your relationship – if you are unmarried a cohabitation agreement is binding providing safeguards are met. If you are engaged to marry or married a prenuptial agreement or postnuptial agreement will carry weight in any future divorce provided the terms are fair and meet reasonable needs and safeguards when drawing up the agreement were met
How the agreement was drawn up
What the agreement says
Speaking to a family law solicitor will help you understand the safeguards a cohabitation agreement or prenuptial agreement offers to both you and the family member gifting the money to you.
It is best to talk to a family law solicitor before you talk to your partner about a relationship agreement. That’s because your solicitor will discuss a range of options of what goes in the agreement and how best to protect the gifted deposit. It is therefore wise to understand those options rather than have one fixed idea of what your agreement should say from one discussion with your spouse or partner.
Our friendly family lawyers aim to provide a relationship agreement solution so your parents, grandparents, extended family or friend feels confident in gifting you money to buy a property whilst protecting your interests and providing a fair and equitable agreement between you and your partner.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce and estate planning lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Chris Strogen
Oct 15, 2024
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6 minute read

Can I Change the Locks if I am Separated?
As family law solicitors we are often asked whether it is OK to change the locks to the family home. Sometimes we are asked this question before a husband, wife, civil partner or unmarried partner has decided to separate. On other occasions, the locks have already been changed and an ex-partner has already been excluded from what was their family home.
For expert advice on family law call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Separation and changing the locks
Locks are a hot topic as emotions, trust, and control issues can all be engaged when the subject of locks and access to the family home is mentioned.
A lot of people assume that if the locks to the family home are changed that means the excluded spouse, civil partner, or cohabitee loses their legal rights or financial claims over the property. That assumption isn’t correct.
A change of locks does not confer ownership of a property on the spouse or partner who now controls access to the property. Your property rights will depend on your legal status – whether you are a spouse or civil partner or whether you were in an unmarried relationship. For spouses and civil partners, property rights stem from family law. For unmarried couples, their family home rights stem from an interpretation of property and trust law.
If you cannot agree with your partner on whether a house should be sold, or transferred to you or your ex-partner, then the court can decide on the appropriate order. In urgent cases involving domestic violence or abuse, the court can make a temporary injunction order to exclude a partner from the property. The court can then decide on long-term property ownership at a later date.
Changing the locks if you own the property
Some people assume that if they own the family home in their sole name, they can change the locks and exclude a spouse. That is not right. A spouse has a right of occupation in a family home, whether the property is owned in joint names or not. Whether or not the locks have been changed any financial claims to the house continue until there is an agreement or a family court order.
Another common assumption is that it is OK to change locks once a spouse has left the family home as once the decision to leave has been made by them then they cannot change their mind and come back. That is not correct either.
In some situations, a homeowner may ask their family law solicitor about changing locks as they want to feel in control of a property. In other cases, there are genuine worries either over privacy or personal security. If it is accepted that one spouse should leave the property then it is usual to agree that, whether they retain the key or not, they will only return at an agreed time and for a reason. For example, to collect remaining items.
If there are concerns about personal safety and domestic violence the court can make an injunction order setting out who can occupy a family home until a long-term decision is made on whether or not the house should be sold or transferred to one spouse or partner.
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Changing the locks when you have children
Where there are children there is often an argument that a spouse or partner should retain a key so that they can come and go to see the children. Whether that works all depends on how a couple has managed their separation. In some scenarios, both adults and children are comfortable with mum or dad returning to put children to bed with a book or to babysit but, in other families, continued key access can give very mixed messages to both adults and children and cause anxiety.
It is important to talk to a family law solicitor about property ownership and locks and to reach an agreement on whether locks are changed or not. You may need to discuss whether you or your ex-partner can get access to the property until the financial settlement is reached.
Locks and reaching an agreement over the family home
The hot topic of locks should not distract from what is often the equally emotional but trickier issue of sorting out what will happen long-term with the family home.
The obtaining of estate agent appraisals and exploration of mortgage options enables a separated couple to make well-informed decisions about what they want to happen to the family home on a long-term basis. Those decisions can be made by the couple with the help of their family law solicitor or during family mediation.
If an agreement cannot be reached then whether you are a spouse, civil partner, or former cohabitee, the family court can be asked to sort out who is entitled to enter the property and live in it on a short and long-term basis. What is important to realise is that changing the locks to a family home does not confer property ownership as that is all down to agreement or the court order.
For expert advice on family law call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Robin Charrot
Jun 13, 2023
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5 minute read

What is Coercive Control and Behaviour?
The law allows you to apply for a family law injunction order if you have experienced coercive control and behaviour. In this blog, our family law solicitors look at what is meant by coercive control and behaviour.
If you need family law advice, contact Evolve Family Law.
What is coercive control and behaviour?
Coercive behaviour is:
Any act designed to force or coerce you into doing something against your will,
An act that is intended to harm or intimidate you.
Acts can include physical threats as well as other forms of humiliation or words said by your partner that make you feel as if you are no longer in control of your life or actions.
The law on coercive behaviour
The law says coercive and controlling behaviour is an act designed to make you feel subordinate or dependent on your partner. This could involve:
Isolation from friends and family.
Preventing independent acts or thoughts.
Regulation of behaviour.
Examples of coercive control and behaviour
Here are some examples of real-life coercive behaviour:
Controlling what you eat and weigh (you may be told that this is for ‘your own good’, but it is still coercive and controlling behaviour).
Stopping you from having a shower or bath at times other than stipulated.
Preventing you from leaving the family home on your own or stopping you from seeing your friends and family.
Restricting your access to money so you only get an allowance to buy food and must account for any money spent by you.
Telling you that you can’t pick up the baby or play with the children other than at times allowed.
Telling you that you can’t go online or monitoring your computer and telephone usage.
Dictating what clothes you should wear (either too modest or too flamboyant for your taste) or saying what make-up you can wear (if any).
Coercive control can occur remotely. Some of the most intimidating coercive behaviour can be carried out by bombarding someone with text messages and phone calls, or remote spying activities.
Coercive control and who it affects
Coercion and control does not just affect women in heterosexual relationships. Women can also coerce and control their male partners or husbands. Coercion and control also occur in same sex relationships.
If something amounts to coercive and controlling behaviour, then it doesn’t matter if you are married, in a civil partnership or cohabiting and living together. It is the act or behaviour that is important rather than the legal status of your family relationship.
If a partner is controlling, their behaviour may also affect the children. For example, they may not give the children appropriate freedoms for their age, or the children may be emotionally affected by witnessing the coercive control exercised by one parent over the other.
Recognising Coercive Behaviour
Coercive and controlling behaviour can be insidious and hard for you or your friends and family to spot. That is because the coercion can be subtle or the degree of control can grow slowly over time, so you don’t recognise it for what it is. For example, getting you to agree that it is too much hassle to see your mother every week, to eventually telling you who you can and can’t see.
When you are in a relationship, or you are a close friend or family member, it can be hard to spot or recognise coercive behaviour, often because it is dressed up as ‘only wanting to do what is best’ or because it is said you are so stupid or mentally unwell that your partner or husband or wife knows what is best for you.
What one person would describe as coercive and controlling behaviour may be the normal experience of a husband, wife or partner who is so used to such controlling behaviour that they have become immune to it and adapted their life and thought processes around their partner’s behaviour so as not to upset them or to fit in.
It is often only when you see your husband, wife, or partner starting to exercise the same coercive behaviour on your child, and you see the impact of that behaviour on your child’s demeanour and personality, that you realise that you have got to do something. In other families, it takes a close friend or family member to point out that what your partner sees as loving behaviour is stifling you and is coercive behaviour.
In the past, you could only get a judge to make a family law injunction order if there had been domestic violence involving a trip to the hospital or doctor. Those days are long gone, with family judges realising that any form of domestic violence, from serious sexual assault to a slap or a push or coercion, is unacceptable.
What can I do about coercive behaviour in my relationship?
If you are being subjected to coercion and control in your relationship, you can:
Try to get your partner to see their behaviour for what it is and to change. This may involve counselling to get to the root cause of the coercive behaviour. In some family situations, the nature of the coercive control is such that it is not safe or healthy for you to stay in the relationship. Counselling and trying to stay together may not be a realistic option, as you need to leave the family home and separate permanently.
Separate and start divorce proceedings. You can initiate no-fault divorce proceedings without needing to mention the behaviour in the divorce application. It is still important to tell your divorce solicitor about the behaviour. They can talk to you about your injunction options.
Separate and start injunction proceedings. The family court makes an injunction order. The court can either make a non-molestation or an occupation order to protect you and your children
Make a complaint to the police. The Serious Crime Act 2015 created a new criminal offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or familial relationship. If your partner is found guilty, then in a serious case of coercive behaviour, they could be sent to prison for up to five years.
What is a non-molestation order?
A non-molestation injunction order is a family court order that stops the person who is behaving in a coercive or controlling manner towards you or your child from continuing to do so.
What is an occupation order?
An occupation injunction order is a family court order that prevents the person behaving in a coercive or controlling manner towards you or your child from continuing to live at the family home or from re-entering it, or restricts your partner or spouse from certain rooms in the family home.
Breaching an injunction order
If your partner or spouse breaches a family court injunction order, it constitutes contempt of court and a criminal offence.
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Talking to your divorce and family law solicitor about coercive behaviour
If you take the step of deciding to speak to a divorce solicitor about your marriage or relationship, it is essential to tell them about the coercive control. Many people are too embarrassed to talk about their partner or spouse’s behaviour, or they decide that their partner’s behaviour isn’t relevant because they don’t want to apply for an injunction order.
Even if you don’t want your divorce solicitor to act on the coercive behaviour information and apply for an injunction, it is still important to tell them about it so that they understand why you may have concerns about your children having contact and why you want a child arrangements order or why you may want a financial settlement that includes a clean break financial court order.
How Evolve Family Law can help you
The family law solicitors at Evolve Family Law will support you during your relationship breakdown and help you find the best long-term family solutions for you and your family. Our family lawyers are approachable and friendly, providing expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice, with experience in advising on separations or divorces where a partner has been abusive or is narcissistic and controlling.
Contact Evolve Family Law Today for Expert Family Law Advice.
Louise Halford
Oct 03, 2020
·
7 minute read
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