What is Divorce Coaching?

When you’re getting divorced you can come across a lot of legal jargon and terms you’re not familiar with. Many people feel embarrassed about asking their divorce solicitor questions ( they shouldn’t) but in this blog our divorce solicitors explain what a divorce coach is and how they can work with your divorce solicitor to help you.

For divorce advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.

What is divorce coaching?

Divorce coaching gives you the chance to think and make decisions about your separation or divorce as well as process your feelings in an impartial and non-judgemental setting. It allows you to express and work through all the fears, thoughts, and anxieties that you may not feel ready to talk to those around you about. It can help you navigate the divorce process, empowering you to make decisions and take the action that’s right for you.

It can also allow you to explore how you would like this next chapter of your life to be post-divorce, helping you to see the possibilities and feel confident, positive, and optimistic about the future.

Why do I need a divorce coach if I have a divorce solicitor?

You may have a great divorce solicitor that you trust and feel comfortable talking to but a divorce lawyer is there to give you legal advice and explain your legal options. However good their legal advice is and however supportive they are you can still feel overwhelmed by the decisions you have to make. For example, over the timing of your divorce proceedings, whether you should agree a proposed financial settlement or the proposed post separation parenting arrangements for your children.

A divorce coach works with you so you have more confidence in the divorce, financial and children decisions you are making. With greater confidence you are likely to be better able to either reach compromises or cope with the stress of financial or children law proceedings that may be necessary. For example, if your ex-spouse is refusing financial disclosure or your ex is refusing you contact with the children.

Working with a divorce coach

A divorce coach has a client-centric point of view and works with you, not you and your partner. Coaching sessions are one to one and are confidential. They are usually conducted either at the private office of the coach, or via a platform such as Zoom.

You are your own expert on your life and what is most important to you as you move forward. A divorce coach though can act as a thinking partner and sounding board for you, helping you to make sure you can communicate what you want clearly, whether that is to your ex, your family, your divorce solicitor or your family mediator.

A divorce coach helps you to explore your views about possible options, enabling you to consider different choices. In this self-discovery process you can sometimes discover that there are gaps in your knowledge or gaps in your skills. Together you and your coach can develop a plan on how to close these gaps so that you can be confident not only in the decisions and agreements you are making as part of your divorce. But also, beyond it to help you to build strong foundations for a life post-divorce filled with optimism, potential, security, and excitement.

What are the benefits of talking to a divorce coach?

There are many benefits of divorce coaching, such as:

• Reducing feelings of turmoil – getting divorced requires a lot of paperwork and organization — tasks that can feel overwhelming when you’re going through emotional turmoil. A divorce coach help you make sure you have everything you need to get it done so that when you meet with your divorce solicitor you are ready and prepared, meaning your meetings can be as cost effective as possible.
• Saving you money – working with a divorce coach during your divorce can actually save you money by ensuring that your meetings with your divorce solicitor focus purely on the legal process and decisions that need to be made. It is completely understandable that you want to talk through how you are feeling and work through all your emotions about your divorce. But doing this every time you meet with your divorce solicitor may increase your legal fees without actually moving you forward emotionally. A divorce coach will help you manage your emotions so that you can make decisions that are not clouded by how you are feeling about your ex-partner.

What will a divorce coach talk to me about?

The following isn’t an exhaustive list, but does give you a general overview of the sorts of things a coach can work with you on:

• You’re so fearful about your future that you can’t make decisions
• You are feeling overwhelmed by all the paperwork getting divorced involves
• You have no idea what you’re going to do when the divorce is final
• You’re very angry and are trying to use your children to get revenge
• You’re not familiar with the legal process and feel overwhelmed
• You’re not thinking clearly and it’s making it very hard to make any decisions
• You are struggling to figure out a parenting plan that’s going to work
• You are struggling to figure out how you will co-parent

What should I look for in a divorce coach?

When looking for a divorce coach your divorce solicitor will be able to help with a referral but you should be checking that any divorce coach you approach is:

• Properly qualified with a recognised qualification in coaching
• A member of a recognised coaching body such as the Association for Coaching, or the International Coaching Federation. This confirms that they are committed to working ethically and responsibly with you and are appropriately qualified
• A good fit for you as coaching is a very personal experience and it’s important that you feel comfortable with your divorce coach and that you can work well together. So, check that any coach you contact offers a chance to have a free, no obligation 15- 30 minute consultation with them so that you can ensure they are the right person for you

Final thoughts on divorce coaching

Divorce can be a lonely, stressful, and unsettling time, having a coach to help you navigate through, be on your team and ultimately help you flourish after your divorce is complete is definitely something worth considering.

For divorce advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.