Family Law Articles & Advice

Update 24th March 2020: In UK government guidance published 24 March, it states: Where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents’ homes https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others Whilst parents may wish or need to adapt contact arrangements, they can, and should still continue for children. These are frightening times for children and maintaining normality will hopefully help quell their fears. Now, more than ever, parents should put aside their differences and co-operate and act in their children’s best interest at all times. This advice should be read in conjunction with the following Government advice on what to do if someone in your household becomes unwell: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection Parents want to protect their child and that is particularly true when it comes to the coronavirus. It is hard enough coping with the worries of looking after your children and safeguarding them in normal times but in a pandemic the job of being a parent has just got so much harder. That is the case whether you are living with your partner, separated or divorced.  In this blog we look at the question of coronavirus and child contact after a separation or divorce. Online children law solicitors Evolve Family Law are based in Cheshire and Manchester but offer a full range of online children law services with appointments available by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help with child custody and contact please contact us. Stopping Child Contact Because of Coronavirus We are receiving a high number of enquiries asking us whether child arrangements can continue now the government has restricted our movements. We are getting a real sense that the vast majority of these parents aren’t wanting to stop contact to upset their ex-partner or trying to use Covid-19 as an excuse to stop contact visits that they don’t like, but because they genuinely fear for their children and their families. At the moment the advice from the government agency, CAFCASS, is to continue contact arrangements as normal as CAFCASS thinks it is in the best interests of children to maintain contact so the children keep to a familiar routine, even if they are missing out on going to school.   Whilst some may say that statistically children should be OK even if they get the coronavirus that doesn’t ease parent’s anxiety and fears that children going back and forth between households could increase the risk of spreading infection to a member of your family who is in a high risk group with an underlying health condition and is therefore more vulnerable to Covid-19.   There is also a concern being expressed by parents about what might happen if a child is on a contact visit and the other parent falls ill and the family has to self-isolate or if the country goes into lock down and children can't travel back to you.   One of the issues facing separated or divorced parents is that not everyone is as worried about Covid-19 as some are. That can create feelings of tension and acrimony between parents who are living together with their children, let alone separated or divorced parents where there may already be an element of mistrust or a history of communication problems.   Cheshire children law solicitors say that if you want to stop contact because of the coronavirus and high risk issues then whether you can legally do so will depend on whether there is an existing child arrangements order in place and what it says. If you have an existing child arrangements order and you don’t know if you can stop contact or not then it is best to take legal advice. Coronavirus and Child Arrangements Orders If you have a child arrangements order in place that sets out the parenting arrangements for your child then if you stop contact you are likely to be in breach of the court order. Your ex-partner could apply to enforce the child arrangements order and you could apply to vary the child arrangements order.   If you are following government advice to self-isolate because a member of your family is unwell then your ex should not apply to enforce an order and you should not need to apply to vary the child arrangements order because of your self-isolation. However, if it isn’t a self-isolation or lockdown situation, but you want to change or stop contact arrangements because of the coronavirus and any high risk concerns, you may need to look at what your child arrangements order says and your ex –partner may want to apply for a child arrangements order  so contact isn’t stopped.   Cheshire children law solicitors say that the use of children court proceedings should always be the ‘last resort’ and it is best to try to negotiate a change in a child arrangements by agreement. [related_posts] Sorting out contact during the coronavirus outbreak It is all very well for children law solicitors to talk about trying to reach an agreement about stopping or changing contact arrangements but many parents say that it is far harder to do that in reality. That is certainly true but sometimes it takes a children law solicitor to cut through the parental history of mistrust and get to the real issues.   In these unprecedented times it is inevitable that parents will want to protect their children and to ‘wrap them up in cotton wool’. What parent wouldn't? However it is important for parents to take a step back and think that the coronavirus pandemic won't be with us for ever and that when the UK comes out of the current crisis you still want to be on speaking terms with your ex-partner or at least be able to communicate with them over the parenting arrangements.   Therefore, if you are contemplating stopping or changing contact Cheshire children law solicitors recommend that you: Think about the reasons why you want to stop or change contact. Can contact still take place through reducing risks , for example , by you driving the children to contact rather than older children or the other parent using public transport to get to your ex-partner’s house or can you change the contact drop off point Consider if you can agree consistent rules on what the children can do during their time with the other parent. That way one parent isn’t doing all the home schooling and enforcing a curfew and activity restrictions for older children whilst the other parent carries on as normal Think about the alternatives to direct contact, such as facetime or Skype or phone. Bed time stories by facetime maybe something small children would love and the offer of such contact might reassure your ex that you aren’t trying to cut them out, but you want they want; happy and healthy children Take legal advice as sometimes an experienced children law solicitor can help you find resolutions that you had not thought about or help you with the words to help your ex understand why you are so particularly worried about coronavirus and child contact. It can undoubtedly be hard for an ex-partner to hear that you want to stop or reduce contact when they and the children haven’t done ‘anything wrong’ and seeing the children is helping them get through the coronavirus outbreak. However, this is a time when a children law solicitor can help you both focus on what is best for the children, whether that is getting you help with your fears, or helping your ex-partner to understand any particular high risk issues. Online Children Law Solicitors Evolve Family Law provide a full range of online children law services with appointments available with specialist children law solicitors by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help call us or contact us online

​When most of us see headlines about compensation we think that the newsworthy case must be a civil claim for compensation arising out of a road traffic accident or medical negligence. However, in the news last week was a case on ‘divorce compensation’. In this blog we look at what is meant by divorce compensation.Cheshire Divorce solicitors If you are in the process of a separation or divorce and want advice on a financial settlement then the family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children proceedings, the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online.​Divorce compensation Divorce compensation is in all the newspapers because of a case involving two solicitors.  The couple had been married for about ten years and have two children together. The family wealth amounts to about ten million. The family judge ordered that the husband and wife should each get fifty percent, around five million each.   You may think that £5 million each is a just and fair award as after all the couple had been married for nearly a decade. However, the judge went onto order that the wife should get an extra £400,000 for what was termed by the judge as ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ or divorce compensation.   The judge made the additional £400,000 award because the wife and mother, a Cambridge law graduate, had sacrificed her career as a solicitor to look after the couple’s two children.   The court decision will be of interest to many as it is common for one partner in a relationship to step back from their career to become a house husband or wife or to try to juggle child care and home making with a part time career, thus losing out on job promotions and work bonuses. Often the philosophy is that either a husband or wife has to step back from their career as if they equally share the childcare commitment both careers will suffer.    In some family situations, where one spouse has a lower earnings capacity than the other, the choice may be painfully obvious as to who should take on the role of the main breadwinner. However, in the reported case both husband and wife started out their married life as qualified solicitors and both (rather than one) could have had stellar careers had it not been for the decision to forgo a career to look after the couple’s children.   Can I get divorce compensation? When a case hits the headlines many people, lawyers included, think that divorce  compensation will be the ‘new thing’ and that everyone will be claiming for relationship generated disadvantage. However, the judge in the recent court case, made it clear in his ruling that his decision in the case of the two unnamed lawyers should not open the floodgates to a plethora of relationship generated disadvantage divorce compensation claims. The judge said that relationship generated disadvantage claims should be limited to where there are truly exceptional circumstances.   How do I claim for relationship generated disadvantage? Compensation for relationship-generated disadvantage can be included as part of your financial claim in divorce financial proceedings. You cannot claim for relationship generated disadvantage if you are in a cohabiting relationship.   The relationship generated disadvantage claim is made as part of your financial settlement claims and assessed at the same time as the judge decides on: What the family assets are What your needs and your spouse’s needs are (and if you have children what your children’s needs are) How your family assets should be divided between you Whether you should get the family home or if it should be transferred to your spouse as part of the financial settlement or sold and the proceeds divided between you Whether you or your spouse should receive a share of the other’s pension as part of the financial settlement Whether a clean break order should be made to prevent further financial claims Whether spousal maintenance should be paid and, if so, for how long and how much should be paid.   There are a host of other things that a judge has to consider such as whether one spouse should pay towards the other’s legal costs or not.   Any claim for divorce compensation or relationship generated disadvantage will be added to the list of issues for the judge to rule on and to explain why he/she has allowed an additional award for relationship generated disadvantage or ruled it out in their court judgment.   In the case of the two solicitors it was clearly evident that the wife had given up a lucrative career to care for children and that she had a case to say, that with her qualifications, she could have enjoyed an equally stellar career as her husband had it not been for the fact that the arrival of children seriously damaged her ability to work in a demanding career as a solicitor.   You may take the view that with a financial settlement of around five million the wife did not need the extra £400,000 for ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ as the five million would more than meet her reasonable needs. However, the court has said in previous cases where divorce compensation arguments have been raised, that relationship generated disadvantage is relevant even if their future needs have been met generously through the financial settlement. That is because one spouse has given up their ability to generate an income surplus to needs and so in an exceptional case they can ask a judge to rule that their husband or wife should pay an element of ‘divorce compensation’.Cheshire Divorce solicitors  If you are separating or getting divorced and are worried about your financial settlement then whether or not you gave up your career you need expert legal advice on your best financial settlement options.   The family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children law proceedings the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you reach a financial settlement that works for you and your family. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online . ​Latest From Our Divorce Blog:

As a Cheshire children solicitor I get asked the question ‘can I stop my ex taking our child on holiday?’ That is understandable as most parents are anxious when their child goes off for the weekend, let alone a holiday with your ex. In this blog we answer your frequently asked questions about whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday. Can I stop my ex taking our child on holiday? Whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday will depend on: Whether there is a child custody order(also known as a residence order or a child arrangements order). If so, does the order say whether your ex can take your child on holiday? If it does, then have circumstances changed so you can apply to court to vary or change the order to stop your ex taking your child on holiday? Is the holiday in the UK or does your ex plan to take your child abroad? If a foreign holiday is proposed how long is the holiday for and what is the destination? Are there any child abduction concerns that are making you particularly concerned about the holiday? For example, is your concern that your child is being taken to see extended family outside Europe and you have read and googled that the country they are going to isn’t signed up to the Hague Convention?   Prior to talking to a children solicitor about whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday it is best to think about the reasons why you object to the holiday. For some parents the answer is obvious, such as you fear child abduction whereas for others it is just a gut fear or your objection to the holiday may be down to: The dates your ex wants to take your child on holiday – for example, do the dates clash with your Christmas, Easter or your summer holiday plans? Who will be accompanying your child on holiday – for example, is your ex going on holiday with his new partner and their children. Are you worried about your child spending time with the new partner or them not getting on with the other children who will be going? The destination of the holiday, as after all a holiday to an English Caravan Park or to European Beach holiday is very different to a trip to the Far East or middle East to meet extended family or for cultural reasons Do you have concerns about your ex’s drinking habits and do you worry that if you are not there, your child will be neglected whilst your ex gets drunk Are you angry that your ex can afford to take your child on an expensive holiday but can't or won't pay child support to you so you can't afford to go on a similar trip?   There are many other reasons why you may object to your ex taking your child on holiday but sometimes it helps to make a list as there may be more than one reason why you feel so strongly about the holiday.  Some of those reasons may be practical ones and others may be emotional, for example, your ex is taking his new partner and your child on holiday to the same resort you all used to go to as a family.   I have a court order so can I stop my ex taking my child on holiday?  If a mother or a father has a court order saying that the child lives with them(for example a child arrangements order) then you can: Stop your child going on holiday unless there is a child arrangements order in place for the other parent that covers holiday contact in the UK or overseas If the holiday contact in the child arrangements order doesn’t cover travel abroad then your ex won't be able to take your child overseas on holiday unless they get your written agreement or a family court order that says they have court permission to take your child either to a specified foreign country for a holiday or a general order that says they can take the child on a foreign holiday each year.   Every children court order is phrased differently so if you are at all unsure about what your court order says and whether your ex needs your permission or a court order to take your child on holiday then speak to a Cheshire children solicitor.   Can I get a court order to stop my ex taking my child on holiday?  You can apply to court to get an order to stop your ex from taking your child on holiday. It is best to speak to a Cheshire children solicitor about whether you need to apply for an order as it will all depend on whether there are any existing court orders. If there are then it may not be necessary to make an application to court or you may need to apply to vary a court order rather than apply for a new court order.   For example, if your ex wants to take your child on holiday abroad and they don’t have a child arrangements order to say that they are the main carer the onus is on them to apply to court to get permission to take your child on a foreign holiday out of the UK unless you give your written consent to the holiday.   If you think that your ex will just take your child without bothering to apply for a court order then you can make an application to court for a specific issue or prohibited steps order  prohibiting the holiday from taking place.   If your ex is your child’s main carer and they have a child arrangements order in place which says the child lives with them, then normally this order allows them to take your child on holiday abroad for up to four weeks.  They therefore don’t need your permission to take your child abroad provided the holiday is for less than four weeks. However, if you object to the holiday (for example, because you fear child abduction) then you can apply to court for an order to prohibit the foreign holiday from taking place.   If your objection is to your ex taking your child on holiday in the UK then you can still apply for an order to try and stop the holiday although you would have to have good reason for the objection as generally speaking there is less opposition to a child being taken away on holiday in the UK unless, for example: The child is young and hasn’t had a lot of contact with the other parent and so would be anxious and fret The holiday is unsuitable, for example , a golf holiday where you anticipate your child will be cared for by your ex’s new partner rather than spend quality time with a parent Your ex wants to go away on holiday at the only time that you can take off to go away on holiday or their holiday plans will mean that you don’t get to spend time with your child over Christmas or will stop your child from going to a family wedding or other celebration Your ex is planning a camping holiday in the Autumn half term and your child is asthmatic or has special health needs. [related_posts] Should I object to my child going on holiday? If a parent wants to object to their child going on holiday most people’s first thoughts are that a child should be able to enjoy a holiday with each of his or her separated parents. Whilst that is true it is also correct that if you have any concerns about your child then it is your job as a parent to protect your child and stand up for what is in their best interests.   Sometimes children don’t know what is best for them as whilst your child may be very excited about a trip to a far flung destination they won't understand your child abduction fears and the reasons behind why you are so worried about the holiday.   A Cheshire children solicitor will normally ask you to look at the reasons why you object to your child going on a holiday in the UK or overseas and to consider whether those reasons are about you or your child. For example, if your real issue is that your ex can afford a holiday but isn’t paying child support your children solicitor can make a child support application for you. If your issue is the destination of the holiday or its length then perhaps some compromise can be made so a holiday can take place but your child is safe.   If you need help with holiday contact or need a holiday contact order then our expert team of specialist children law solicitors at Holmes Chapel and Whitefield can help you. Call us or contact us online.

By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies You have decided or it may have been decided for you that you no longer want to stay in a relationship that is tormenting you. Leaving a narcissistic relationship is one of the hardest things to do. In my work with clients and with my online community I provide lots of information to people who find themselves with a narcissist or toxic individual. Here is how to get out safely with your wellbeing intact.   When we fall in love it’s natural to attach and form a romantic bond, but once in love with a narcissist it is not easy to leave let alone detach from them.   Why it’s hard to break up with a narcissist Pathological narcissists or people with narcissistic traits present as charming, interesting and seductive to be around and will treat you with kindness and warmth. They may even love bomb you. This is where the dysfunctional attachment to the narcissist begins. I am not saying that it is wrong that you are being treated with kindness, charm and respect at the beginning. Of course you want to be with them but you become easily dependent on their attention and validation of you.   Once you are hooked onto this they become secure and then they aren’t motivated to be nice to you. Their charm, warmth and respect fades and is replaced or intermixed with varying degrees of criticism, demands, coldness and emotional abuse. You become accommodating and try to win their love and attention back and meanwhile your self-esteem and independence of mind are compromised. You may even become gas lighted and begin to doubt your own decisions and perceptions due to blame and lies. When you question this you become attacked, intimidated and confused by manipulation.   Over time you learn to accept the abuse or even attempt to avoid conflict and become deferential. Because facing the reality is too painful. To leave is the only option as this behavior becomes a cycle of abuse and unfortunately you are too weak and vulnerable to be able to do anything about it. You cannot save them, only yourself. Below are some tips and strategies that may help you to cope and heal after leaving a narcissistic relationship.   Go no contact - limited no contact Block them! I mean of all your communication avenues. That means phone, email and social media. You need some time to yourself to ‘breathe’ and get your thoughts in order. You are not going to be able to do that if you have constant abuse through secondary sources. The narcissist will try to contact you! You have to cut off this communication, you need some time to get your mind in order.   Now, this may not be as straight forward if there are children involved, so what I suggest here is limited contact. I feel that at the beginning of this process do go no contact but only when you are ready begin with limited contact and it needs to stay like that. So, what does limited contact look like? It will mean that you have to clarify what it is that you are communicating with the narcissist, be specific and stick to only the facts that you want to get across. Take the emotion out of the content that you are talking about, this will give you the advantage. Please know that the narcissist will use your triggers and emotions against you to trip you up and get what they want. As these interactions are about gaining power over you and controlling the  conversation, to do that they need to initiate an emotional reaction out of you and will press your buttons. Be wise to this and prepare yourself accordingly.   Join a support group It is really important at this time that you have support of people that understand and care for you. Having to explain your decisions to people who do not get it, is not good for you to be around them at the moment. You need to surround yourself with people who give you positive validation. Finding a therapist might be a good idea too.   Become more autonomous To heal and move forward from an abusive relationship it is helpful to build a life outside of the relationship that includes separate friends, hobbies and other interests. When you leave you will need a fulfilling life to supplement or replace the relationship. You will need to surround yourself with positive things that will help you to heal and remind you that there is a life outside of this person and relationship.   Build your self esteem This is very important, you will need all the strength that you need. It is important to reconnect with yourself and get to know you all over again. In relationships such as these your identity would have been compromised and diminished, therefore reconnecting to your own needs and values is important to build your inner strength. You will need to learn to become more assertive and build boundaries.   Learn how to nurture yourself This follows on from the last point of reconnecting with yourself. Learning your needs and putting them first. This is really important if you have children as you will be teaching them to value themselves and to build a robust connection to self. This is a life skill and will insulate you from the abuse.   Grieve Please allow yourself time to grieve the relationship and false future promises that were made to you in the relationship. This will help you to process your emotions and recover from the relationship. I would also urge you to find an experienced Manchester divorce solicitor who has the understanding and experience of dealing with narcissistic personalities. Mediation is not a good option where there is a history of abuse.   As long as you’re under the spell of the narcissist, they have control over you. In order to become empowered you will need to educate yourself. Come out denial and see the reality of what this really is. Information is power. Read up on narcissism and abuse, I have a lot of information on my website. Regardless of your decision, it is important for your own mental health and to redeem your autonomy and self-esteem. By guest blogger Anoushka Macin of Balance Psychologies [related_posts]

A divorce court ruling on a Sharia law marriage has called into question the validity of Sharia law marriages conducted in the UK.  You may question why that is important to you as, after all, if you celebrated an Islamic marriage ceremony, witnessed by all your friends and family that is what counts as you are married in the eyes of God. Whilst our Manchester divorce solicitors would not disagree with the significance of the marriage ceremony to you, in the English family court you may not be legally married. Your status as a husband or wife or as a cohabitee could make the difference between whether you get half the family wealth or nothing if you separate. The case of Mr Khan and Mrs Akhtar The legal status of Islamic marriage in the UK is in the news headlines again because of the long running case of Mr Khan and Mrs Akhtar. In the high court Mrs Akhtar sought a divorce from her husband, Mr Khan. He opposed the divorce petition on the basis that they weren’t legally married. Although you would have thought it obvious that they were married because the couple had participated in a Nikah ceremony in a London restaurant conducted by an Imam with about 150 guests, Mr Khan said the marriage  wasn’t legal as whilst it might be a legal marriage under Sharia law it did not meet the requirements of English marriage  law.   The first judge ruled that the marriage was a marriage but classed it as a void marriage. This decision allowed Mrs Akhtar to start financial proceedings as the wife of Mr Khan, something that she could not have done if the high court had ruled that the couple were not legally married. Although the court ruled that the marriage was still a marriage (even though it was void) back in 2018 it has taken until February 2020 for the court of appeal to hear the case and conclude that the couple were not legally married under English law.   Interestingly the appeal wasn’t brought by Mr Khan but by the Attorney General who is joined as a party to court proceedings where the validity of a marriage is called into question. The court of appeal ruling is making Manchester divorce solicitors ask where the decision leaves Mr Khan, Mrs Akhtar and their four children and, just as importantly all those other husband and wife's who have celebrated a Nikah marriage  ceremony recognised in Sharia and Islamic law but not under UK marriage  law.   Is an Islamic marriage valid in the UK? The court of appeal held that the marriage of Mr Khan and Mrs Akhter was invalid (rather than void) and therefore the Islamic marriage isn’t a legally recognised marriage, notwithstanding the 150 guests who attended to witness the marriage ceremony.   The court of appeal ruled that the Sharia law wedding wasn’t a valid marriage because the ceremony took place at a venue that isn’t registered as a wedding venue and therefore no registrar was therefore present to conduct the ceremony. Back in 2018, the high court took a different approach and ruled there was a valid marriage recognised in both Sharia law and under English case law because although the couple hadn’t complied with English marriage law requirements they both held themselves out as a married couple. The court of appeal said that this wasn’t enough as they both knew that they needed to participate in a registered civil marriage ceremony to comply with English marriage law. [related_posts] Does it matter if your Islamic marriage isn’t recognised in the UK? You may question whether it matters if your Islamic marriage isn’t recognised in the UK family law as a valid marriage because, from your perspective, it is your marriage under Sharia law that is the important ceremony to you and your family. However, if you separate and you try to start divorce proceedings you may find yourself in the same position as Mrs Akhtar; told that there is no need for English divorce proceedings because you are not legally married under English law. That means, that for the purposes of your financial settlement, in English family law you will be treated as a cohabitee or unmarried partner.   If your marriage is legally recognised then within divorce and financial proceedings a husband or wife can bring financial claims for a share of: The family home Any other property you own – this property includes houses or commercial property owned in your joint names or in your sole name Your business – your spouse does not need to hold shares in your company or to have worked in the business to be able to make a financial claim against business assets Your pension – your spouse can claim a share in your pension even if your pension was set up prior to your marriage Your savings and investments – your husband or wife can claim a share of your savings and investments even if they are owned in your sole name Your income – a claim can be made for the payment of ongoing spousal maintenance.   By contrast, if you are an unmarried partner or cohabitee you won't be able to claim: A share of your partner’s pension Spousal maintenance Any other assets unless you can prove that you are an owner of that property or that you were promised a share in the property.   If you have children with your partner you can try to claim housing provision and child support for your children but Manchester divorce solicitors say it is a lot harder to bring a financial claim if you are a cohabitee rather than a husband or wife whose legal status in recognised in English law.   What should I do if I have an Islamic marriage? If you have an Islamic marriage and you are concerned that your marriage won’t be legally recognised in English law it is best to take legal advice from a Manchester divorce solicitor. A discussion about your legal relationship status does not commit you to making any decisions and is completely confidential.   Islamic marriages and prenuptial agreements If your husband or wife does not want to participate in a legally recognised marriage ceremony because they appreciate the extent of the financial claims that can be made by a husband or wife on separation (in contrast to an unmarried partner) then one option may be to look at signing a prenuptial agreement to record a fair financial settlement should you separate at a later date. It is vital that you take expert legal advice before committing to sign a prenuptial agreement.     If you are concerned about the status of your Islamic marriage then whether or not you are contemplating a separation or starting civil divorce proceedings you should take legal advice on your situation and options. The specialist divorce law team at Manchester divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law in Whitefield can help you. Call our Whitefield divorce solicitors or complete our online enquiry form.

In the past you could only get a judge to make a family law injunction order if there had been domestic violence involving a trip to the hospital or doctor. Those days are long gone with family judges realising that any form of domestic violence, from serious sexual assault to slap or push, is unacceptable. The law now allows you to apply for a family law injunction order if you are subjected to coercive control and behaviour. In this blog we look at what is meant by coercive control and behaviour. Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice, with experience in handling separations or divorces where a partner has been abusive or is narcissistic and controlling.  Contact us today and let us help you. What is Coercive Behaviour? The question ‘what is coercive behaviour?’ is a good one as what one person would describe as coercive and controlling behaviour may be the normal experience of a husband, wife or partner who is so used to such controlling behaviour that they have become immune to it and adapted their life and thought processes around their partner’s behaviour so as not to upset them or to fit in.   It is often only when you see your husband, wife, or partner starting to exercise the same coercive behaviour on your child and you see the impact of that behaviour on your child’s demeanour and personality that you realise that you have got to do something. In other families it takes a close friend or family member to point out that what your partner sees as loving behaviour is actually stifling you and is coercive behaviour.   From a Cheshire divorce and family law solicitor’s perspective coercive behaviour is any act designed to force or coerce you into doing something against your will or that is intended to harm or intimidate you. Acts can include physical threats as well other forms of humiliation or words said by your partner that make you feel as if you are no longer in control of your life or actions.   The government says that coercive and controlling behaviour is an act designed to make you feel subordinate or dependent on your partner and gives examples of: Isolation from friends and family Stopping you from being independent Regulating your behaviour. Examples of Coercive Behaviour It is all very well to be told what the government thinks is coercive behaviour but how does that translate into real life? Below are some examples of real life coercive behaviour: Controlling what you eat and weigh (it may be said that this is for ‘your own good’ to make you attractive but it is still coercive and controlling behaviour) Stopping you from having a shower or bath at times other than stipulated Preventing you from leaving the family home on your own or stopping you from seeing your friends and family Restricting your access to money so you only get an allowance to buy food and have to account for any money spent by you Telling you that you can't pick up the baby or play with the children other than at times allowed Telling you that you can't go online or monitoring your computer and telephone usage Dictating what clothes you should wear (either too modest or too flamboyant for your taste) or saying what make-up you can wear (if any).   Coercion and control doesn’t just happen to women in heterosexual relationships. Women can also coerce and control their male partners or husbands. Coercion and control also occurs in same sex relationships.   If something amounts to coercive and controlling behaviour then it doesn’t matter if you are married, in a civil partnership or cohabiting and living together. It is the act or behaviour that is important rather than the legal status of your family relationship. Recognising Coercive Behaviour Coercive and controlling behaviour can be insidious and hard for you or your friends and family to spot. That is because the coercion can be subtle (for example, ‘you look fat or tarty in that outfit’) or the degree of control can grow slowly over time so you don’t recognise it for what it is (for example, getting you to agree that it is too much hassle to see your mother every week to eventually telling you who you can and can't see).   When you are in a relationship, or you are a close friend or family member, it can be hard to spot or recognise coercive behaviour, often because it is dressed up as ‘only wanting to do what is best’ or because it is said you are so stupid or mentally unwell that your partner or husband or wife knows what is best for you.   Don’t forget that coercion and controlling behaviour doesn’t have to be face to face. Some of the most intimidating coercive behaviour can be carried out by bombarding someone with text messages and phone calls or remotely spying on activities. What can I do about coercive behaviour in my relationship? If you are being subjected to coercion and control in your relationship then you can: Try and get your partner to see his/her behaviour for what it is. This may involve counselling to get to the root cause of the coercive behaviour. In some family situations the nature of the coercive control is such that it is not safe or healthy for you to stay in the relationship and so counselling and trying to stay together may not be a realistic option as you need to leave the family home and separate permanently Separate and start divorce proceedings. If your husband or wife has exercised coercive or controlling behaviour you should be able to start divorce proceedings based on their unreasonable behaviour. Even if you don’t want to start divorce proceedings based on your spouse’s unreasonable behaviour it is still important to tell your divorce solicitor about the behaviour. They can talk to you about your divorce proceedings options, such as starting divorce proceedings on your partner’s new relationship (adultery) Separate and start injunction proceedings. An injunction order is made by the family court. The court can either make a non-molestation or an occupation order to protect you and your children Make a complaint to the police. The Serious Crime Act 2015 created a new criminal offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in intimate or familial relationship’. If your partner is found guilty then in a serious case of coercive behaviour they could be sent to prison for up to five years. What is a non-molestation order? A non-molestation injunction order is a family court order that stops the person who is behaving in a coercive or controlling manner towards you or your child from continuing to do so. What is an occupation order? An occupation injunction order is a family court order that stops the person who is behaving in a coercive or controlling manner towards you or your child from continuing to live at the family home or from re-entering the family home or restricts your partner or spouse from certain rooms in the family home. Breaching an injunction order If your partner or spouse breaches a family court injunction order then it is a contempt of court and a criminal offence. [related_posts] Talking to your divorce and family law solicitor about coercive behaviour If you take the step of deciding to speak to a Cheshire divorce solicitor about your marriage or relationship it is important to tell them about the coercive control. Many people are too embarrassed to talk about their partner or spouse’s behaviour or they decide that their partner’s behaviour isn’t relevant because they don’t want to start divorce proceedings based on unreasonable behaviour or start injunction proceedings.   Even if you don’t want your divorce solicitor to act on the coercive behaviour information you give them, it is still important to tell them about it so that they understand why you may have concerns about your children having contact and why you want a child arrangements order or why you may want a financial settlement that includes a clean break financial court order so there are no ongoing financial ties between you and your husband or wife.   Cheshire divorce solicitors won't judge you or criticise you for not leaving your partner any earlier. However, what they will do is support you during your relationship breakdown, finding the best long term family solutions for you and your family and to do that they need to know about the coercive and controlling behaviour to help you and your family.

For many Jewish women the prospect of getting divorced not only makes them worry about how their children will cope, raises fear for their future financial security but makes them question whether they will end up in limbo, with a civil law decree absolute of divorce from the Manchester divorce court but no religious Get. A new case may bring hope to those worried about securing a Get after their separation and civil divorce.Manchester divorce solicitors If you are divorcing and are worried about securing a Get or about negotiating the childcare arrangements for your children or your divorce financial settlement then the Manchester divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law in Whitefield can help you. Call us on 0345 222 8 222, complete our online enquiry form or email robin@evolvefamilylaw.co.uk Whitefield based Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing pragmatic expert divorce advice, financial settlement solutions and children law resolutions. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 and let the Whitefield divorce solicitors help you.Obtaining a Get The law has tried to help those trapped having secured separation or a civil divorce but unable to move on with their lives because they are not able to secure a religious divorce or Get. In what is being described as a landmark case, a woman has used legislation designed to protect victims of domestic violence to secure her Get. In this blog we look at how she achieved her Get and the alternatives to her course of action.   Obtaining a Get by private prosecution An unnamed women from London obtained her Get after launching a private criminal prosecution against her husband for coercive control.   The case is thought to be the first time that the UK criminal justice system has been used as a means to secure a Get to enable the London woman to be able to remarry according to Jewish law.   If you are wondering about what the judge and jury said, this is a case where the private prosecution of the husband was withdrawn when he agreed to give his wife a Get. That meant his crown court trial didn’t take place and therefore the jury did not have to assess whether the man was guilty or innocent of the law against ‘coercive control’.   The wife used Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 to bring the private prosecution. The 2015 Act created a new offence of coercive or controlling behaviour in an intimate or family relationship. An offence is committed if: A person repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour towards another person that is controlling or coercive and the two people are personally connected The person committing the behaviour knows or ought to know that their behaviour will have a serious impact and the behaviour does have a serious impact on the person subjected to the behaviour.   To be charged with an offence under the 2015 Act you must have committed controlling or coercive behaviour towards a ‘personally connected’ person. The law says you are personally connected if: You are in an intimate personal relationship or You live together and are family members or You lived together and were in an intimate personal relationship with one another.    Had the husband been found guilty of the criminal charge then he could have faced a maximum sentence of up to five years in prison. That was probably a very powerful motive to agree to give the wife a Get. However, some may argue that the Get was not freely given by the husband as he felt under pressure to provide the Get rather than offering it of his own free will.   Obtaining a Get through injunction proceedings  In the London case a private criminal prosecution was launched but the case is making Manchester divorce solicitors question whether a Jewish woman could apply for a civil or family court order alleging coercive control as a means to try and secure co-operation and the granting of the Get.   Many women assume that they cannot apply for a family court injunction order because their husband has not been violent towards them, or if he has it was ‘just a push or a slap’. The law on domestic violence is clear, domestic abuse includes emotional and psychological abuse as well as coercive and controlling behaviour. In addition, any form of domestic violence is unacceptable.   Accordingly, some women may want to consider if injunction proceedings would help provide leverage to secure their Get, in the same way that the wife used her private criminal prosecution to achieve her goal of freedom and an end to her being in legal limbo.   Obtaining a Get through UK divorce law For a wife who wants to secure a Get but their husband is not co-operating the most widely known legal option is to use Section 10A of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, amended by the Divorce (Religious Marriages) Act 2002).   Under this legislation either a husband or wife is entitled to apply to the divorce court for an order stopping the decree absolute of divorce from being pronounced until the Get is obtained.   In another recent court case, spousal maintenance law was used as a means to achieve a Get. A Manchester businessman appealed against a financial court order made in divorce court proceedings. The court had ordered him to pay spousal maintenance at the rate of £1,850 a month until he gave his wife a Get.   The husband, Mr Moher, appealed saying it was wrong to order him to pay spousal maintenance until he gave his wife a Get because it introduced compulsion and, under Jewish law, a Get should be given of your own free will. The court of appeal disagreed and upheld the spousal maintenance order.   Talk to your divorce solicitor If you need a Get then it is important that you tell your Manchester divorce solicitor this so that they know, in any negotiations, just how important the Get is to you and to your future happiness.   Once your Manchester divorce solicitor understands that you need the Get to re-marry under Jewish law and to have more children then this should be a priority for them. Even if your husband says he will cooperate and give you a Get or you do not contemplate re-marriage, it is still important to record the agreement on securing a Get in case your husband decides not to co-operate.   Robin Charrot, divorce and financial settlement solicitor at Evolve Family Law based in Whitefield, Manchester says:   ‘’ Obtaining a Get can sometimes be hard work when a husband refuses to cooperate or prevaricates. It is vital that your divorce solicitor understands the importance of the Get to you. I have had solicitors question why it is significant to obtain a Get if a wife has achieved a civil UK law divorce as well as sorted out a child arrangements order and her divorce financial settlement. From my perspective, if a client wants Get it means the difference between a wife being able to get over her divorce and move on with her life feeling positive about her future and feeling trapped and forever controlled by her former husband. That is why the Get is so important and why the London landmark private prosecution will generate a lot of interest in Whitefield and North Manchester. It is another option to explore to secure your Get.’’Manchester Divorce solicitors If you are contemplating a separation or starting civil divorce proceedings but are worried about obtaining a Get then Manchester divorce solicitors at Evolve Family Law in Whitefield can help you. Call the Whitefield divorce solicitor us on 0345 222 8 222, complete our online enquiry form or email robin@evolvefamilylaw.co.uk   Whitefield based Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing pragmatic expert divorce, children and financial settlement law advice. Call Evolve Family Law on 0345 222 8 222 and let us help you.Latest From Our Marriage & Divorce Blogs:

Don’t you feel that some days you have just had enough? If your ex-partner, former husband or wife is making your life difficult, if not impossible, over contact with your child then that’s often the stage that Cheshire divorce solicitors are asked the question ‘Can I stop access to my child?’ There are many reasons why you might want to stop access or contact by your child’s other parent and that is why it is best to take legal advice from a Cheshire divorce and children law solicitor before stopping access. Stopping access Stopping access to your child is a big step to take and it is vital that you get it right. The repercussions of getting the decision wrong can be: The child’s other parent applying to court to enforce any existing access or contact order The child’s other parent applying to court and getting a child arrangements order so they have a court order for access to your child Your child blaming you for the decision to stop access and saying that they want to see or even to live with their other parent Your child’s other parent alleging that you have stopped access because of parental alienation (you are trying to alienate and distance your child from their other parent without any justification for doing so).   Whatever the background to your separation or divorce and the reasons why you feel driven to stop access, it often helps to sit down with a Cheshire children solicitor to look at your options and the alternatives to stopping access. Reasons for stopping access There are many reasons why you may want to stop access, such as: Your child says they don’t enjoy their contact visits with their other parent as they are boring and they would rather be at home You feel intimidated when your ex-partner calls to collect or return your child Your ex-partner has stopped paying child support and you don’t think contact should take place if they can't be bothered to provide child support You don’t want your child to see your former husband or wife's new partner during access visits Your ex-partner keeps turning up late or cancels contact visits at the last moment so you don’t know, from one week to the next, whether contact will take place or not The children always return from an access visit all ‘hyper’ and overtired and then can't settle back into their routine with you for days.   Those are just some of the reasons given for wanting to stop contact. It is vital to discuss the reasons to see if there are alternatives, such as: Talking to your former partner about the contact visits to make them more fun for your child, rather than sitting around watching the TV. Those discussions don’t have to take place direct if you don’t think that would work. You could attend a joint meeting with your children law solicitor or use family mediation You could agree that your child is collected from school or from a relative’s home to stop you having to come face to face with your ex-partner at contact collection and return times and so you are not intimidated or upset by the access handovers You could let contact take place but apply to the Child Maintenance Service for child support You could use a solicitor roundtable meeting or family mediation to discuss why you don’t want your child coming into contact with a new partner or the effect of missed contact visits or too much sugar, to see if your former partner will listen to your concerns. As a parent you need to do what is best for your child and, after exploring the alternatives, you may conclude that stopping access is in your child’s best interests. How you should go about that will depend on whether there are any existing children court orders in place. [related_posts] Court orders and stopping access If there is an existing: Residence order Contact or access order Child arrangements order Then you should take legal advice before stopping access to your former partner to your child. That’s because if you don’t take legal advice on the existing children court order you could find yourself responding to enforcement court proceedings. If there is an existing court order in place, such as a contact order or child arrangements order, then you may need to make an application to the family court to vary the existing children court order before you can stop contact. If there is no existing court orders in place you may be able to stop access but it is still best to take legal advice from a specialist Cheshire children law solicitor before doing so. That’s because a children solicitor can talk to you about alternate options and the prospects of your former partner applying to court so they can see your child under a child arrangements order. Sometimes, by stopping access quickly, after a particularly bad incident or trying weekend, it can play into the hands of your former partner and just create more headaches and hassle for you.   Our expert Cheshire children solicitors can look objectively at your options and help you work out what’s the best alternative for you and your children. ​Contact Us Today