Divorce and Neurodiversity

Getting divorced with neurodiversity or divorcing a spouse with neurodiversity brings special challenges.

With one in seven people in the UK diagnosed as being neurodiverse, neurodiversity is something that our family law solicitors have experience in when helping couples get divorced and when reaching financial settlements and parenting arrangements.

For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form. 

Is neurodiversity relevant to your divorce?

Nowadays couples in England can get a no-fault divorce. There is no need to blame your husband or wife for the marriage breakdown and certainly no need to list examples of your spouse’s unreasonable behaviour in the divorce application. 

Although no-fault divorce proceedings try to take the conflict out of the divorce process, divorce is still a stressful and emotional experience for anyone going through it. Some quickie online divorce websites will minimise that aspect of the divorce by telling you that a no-fault divorce means you don’t need to go to a court hearing to get your final order of divorce. That’s true but it is also equally true that divorce can be a very hurtful experience, whether you are neurodiverse or not.

If the reason you are splitting up is down to your neurodiversity, or your partners, it is worth looking at whether couple or individual counselling would help you. Individual counselling can help a neurodiverse person but it can help their partner learn to come to terms with their spouse’s diagnosis and how neurodiversity affects them or how to find coping strategies.

If you decide that you want to go ahead with your separation and divorce then a spouse’s neurodiversity may also have an impact on any financial settlement negotiations or parenting arrangements. That’s why it is best to be upfront with your family law solicitor and tell them about the diagnosis of neurodiversity and how it affects family life. Without that information, your family law solicitor may not understand why negotiations are not working or why you are not prepared to agree to a financial settlement or proposed parenting arrangement.

How does neurodiversity affect family law negotiations and proceedings?

Neurodiversity is a wide-ranging concept covering conditions such as ADHD, being on the autistic spectrum, dyslexia or having OCD.  All these conditions affect people differently. 

For example, a parent with OCD may have a cleaning compulsion that was effectively managed whilst the family lived together in order to reduce the impact on the children but the other parent is now concerned about the neurodiverse parent having overnight contact and the child becoming increasingly involved in the parent’s cleaning rituals. The concern of the non-neurodiverse parent may be shared by the neurodiverse parent but their separation has led to a breakdown in communication or a willingness to find a solution that allows both parents to enjoy spending time with their child.  

For example, a wife with ADHD may be anxious about going to family mediation as she thinks that she will be overwhelmed by the length of the session and unable to cope.

For example, a husband may be embarrassed to mention his severe dyslexia meaning his family law solicitors don’t realise that he is struggling to digest all the paperwork they have sent him to review or why he is so worried about his ability to get another job following a redundancy.

Does the family court take neurodiversity into account?

If it is relevant, the court will take neurodiversity into account in either child arrangement order applications or in financial settlement court proceedings. 

Take the example of a parent with OCD. If their cleaning compulsion extends to cleaning their hands with bleach then there could be a concern about the parent’s ability to care for their child during contact, especially if the parent’s hand cleaning compulsion extends to the child. That doesn’t mean that the court will say that there should be no contact but they will look at ways that the relationship between parent and child can thrive whilst keeping the child safe from any accidental physical or emotional harm.

In financial settlement proceedings, a spouse’s ADHD may need to be considered when deciding on the appropriate financial court order to make. For example, the diagnosis of ADHD and how the condition affects the husband or wife may affect their earnings capacity and the need for a spousal maintenance order. The court can consider the impact of ADHD on the one spouse because the court makes financial court orders after assessing several criteria, including the needs of both parties to the marriage, their health and respective earnings capacities.

Next steps

If you want to find out more about how our family law solicitors can support you through your separation and divorce, we offer a fixed fee initial consultation. In this first meeting, we can discuss the legal and practical aspects of your separation and assess the best way forward for you.

For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.