Read the latest articles on Family Law from our expert Family Law solicitors here at Evolve Family Law in Manchester & Cheshire.

We put a lot of family law legal information on our website and if you have a single question about your situation, you should find an answer in this blog.

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What Happens If You Sign a Prenup & Your Husband Dies?

Every fiancée (or rather their family solicitor) should ask the question, “What happens if you sign a prenuptial agreement and your husband dies?’’ before a prenuptial agreement is signed. This is because although prenuptial agreements record how assets will be divided should a couple separate or divorce, the agreement can also set out how much a spouse will receive if their husband or wife dies. The prenuptial agreement could state that a spouse cannot make a claim against the estate if the will is consistent with the terms of the prenuptial agreement. Many people query the point of putting in details of what a husband or wife will receive following their spouse's death, in the prenuptial agreement. After all, prenuptial agreements are about separation or divorce and wills are for death and estate planning.  However, as Manchester divorce solicitors we normally say that it is a good idea to detail what provision will be made available to a spouse in the event of a death. This is especially the case where there are children from earlier relationships to consider or where a spouse does not plan to leave their entire estate to their husband or wife. The Case of Mrs Hendry The widely reported case of Mrs Hendry is an excellent example of why it is important to have a prenuptial agreement and how it can assist if there is a claim against the estate. Mrs Hendry came from the Philippines to marry her husband. Mr Hendry already had two adult children from a prior relationship, the youngest of whom was twenty-one at the date of Mr Hendry’s death. The marriage between Mr and Mrs Hendry did not last. Mrs Hendry filed for divorce and asked the family court to give her half of Mr Hendry’s assets. Mr Hendry died before the family court decided how the money should be divided. Mr Hendry’s will left his estate to his children and Mrs Hendry was left a small pension. Negotiations started between Mrs Hendry and the two children. Mrs Hendry wanted half the estate of her late husband. The children initially offered her what she would have got under the couple’s signed prenuptial agreement. They later offered her a third of the estate. Agreement could not be reached between the widow and children, resulting in Mrs Hendry making a claim against the estate. Mrs Hendry asked the court to make ‘’reasonable provision’’ for her from the estate under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. The judge rejected the claim because Mrs Hendry had not made the application within the six-month deadline from the date of grant of Probate. What makes the case interesting to Manchester divorce solicitors and lawyers advising on wills and claims against estates is that Mr and Mrs Hendry signed a prenuptial agreement prior to the marriage. The prenuptial agreement said, in the event of a divorce, Mrs Hendry would get a payment of £10,000 and a one-way ticket back to the Philippines. It is not clear from the media court case reports what, if anything, the prenuptial agreement said about what would happen if Mr Hendry predeceased Mrs Hendry. However, the judge dealing with the estate claim commented on the fact that the prenuptial agreement only made limited financial provision for her. In the case of Mrs Hendry, she was time barred from making a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. However, if she had not been time barred, the fact that she had signed a prenuptial agreement and was separated from Mr Hendry at the time of his death would have been weighed up, together with  the circumstances surrounding the signing of the prenuptial agreement and the needs of Mr Hendry’s children. [related_posts] What can we learn from the case of Mr and Mrs Hendry? There are some simple lessons we can take from this particular case: The importance of signing a prenuptial agreement, and preferably detailing what provision should be made on both divorce and death for a spouse (the estate provision is normally more generous if the couple are living together at the time of the spouse’s death); The need to review wills after a separation or divorce and, if necessary, amend them and/or provide a letter of explanation for testamentary bequests; The importance of complying with deadlines if you want to make a claim against an estate and the benefits of taking specialist legal advice.   For help with prenuptial agreements and financial settlements on divorce or claims against estates please contact us
Louise Halford
Jul 26, 2019   ·   4 minute read
Budget of the family. Coins pile and the symbol of the family

Evolve Family Law Celebrates its 4th Birthday

When your child passes out of its toddler years and reaches the age of four, parents experience a sense of achievement. That is how co-founders, Louise Halford and Robin Charrot, feel about Evolve Family Law’s fourth birthday. Their law firm helps clients with all aspects of private family law, from divorce and relationship breakdown, to financial settlements, child custody,  nuptial and cohabitation agreements to Will writing, Lasting Powers of Attorney and estate planning. Just over four years ago, Evolve Family Law was little more than a pipe dream for the two busy Manchester city centre family law solicitors. The pair decided that not only could they set up a niche family law practice but that its ethos would be different; solicitors who put their clients before profit, really listen to their clients, be constantly ‘on-call’ and deliver great results, with the client the focus of all they do. Fast forward four years and Evolve Family Law has grown from a team of two to twelve, operating out of offices in North Manchester and Holmes Chapel, Cheshire. To what do Louise Halford and Robin Charrot attribute the success of Evolve Family Law? They say a combination of factors; divorce and family law clients who have spread the word to friends and family about Evolve Family Law combined with a fantastic team of solicitors and support staff who are all committed to making Evolve Family Law the success it is. Louise Halford, specialist child law solicitor, says ‘’ Robin Charrot and I knew that we did not want to create just another law firm. Our ambition was to create something different, a law firm that cares. Despite Evolve Family Law’s growth and evolution over the last four years into a thriving and expanding law firm, the passion to put the client at the heart of everything Evolve does is as strong as ever with the focus on dedication to client service and listening to clients to get the family law outcomes that are best for them’’.    When asked about the firm’s plans for the next four years Robin Charrot, divorce and financial settlement solicitor said; "Our goal is to make Evolve Family Law the first choice legal advisors for North West family clients from all backgrounds with its personalised, specialist expertise at affordable rates, delivered by approachable, friendly solicitors". [related_posts]
Louise Halford
Jul 18, 2019   ·   2 minute read
Boy learning to ride a bicycle with his father in park. Father teaching his son cycling at park.

A Guide To Holidays Abroad With Children After Separation Or Divorce

Most of us are gearing up to the school summer holidays, closely followed by the annual holiday to the sun with the children. Whilst the majority of us will not forget the children’s swimsuits or sun screen as we are rushing off to the airport , many separated or divorced parents will forget the ‘’holiday rules’’ when setting off on holiday with their children . Therefore, Evolve Family Law have put together this short guide to holidays abroad with children after separation or divorce. A Guide To Holidays Abroad With Children After Separation Or Divorce 1. Agreement to the holiday If you are a separated parent, you may think that no one can dictate what you do with your children during the time you get to spend with them. However, unless you have a child arrangements order that says the children live with you, it is necessary to have either your former partner’s written agreement to the holiday abroad or a court order giving you permission to take the children abroad on holiday. 2. Be prepared If you know that you need your ex-partner’s agreement to take the children abroad on holiday then be prepared and plan in advance so you have time to agree school summer holiday dates and get agreement in writing to your planned trip abroad. If you cannot get your ex-partner’s agreement then it still pays to be organised. That is because an application will need to be made to court to secure an order to give you permission to take the children abroad on holiday. 3. Take the paperwork With luggage allowances on some aeroplanes it can be tempting to only pack the essentials. However, evidence of your former partner’s agreement to your taking the children abroad on holiday is one of those essentials. You do not need reams of paperwork, a court order or the agreement is sufficient. Even if you do not take the agreement document with you, then as a minimum you should take a text or message confirming the agreement to the overseas holiday. Why? You may take the view that as your ex-partner has been brilliant about agreeing to your taking the children for a week abroad you do not need to burden yourself with extra paperwork. However, even if your ex has not alerted the airport police to a possible child abduction (yes, it does happen just as in the films) an airport official may start to ask questions if children are travelling abroad with one parent, especially where parent and child have different surnames. Airport officials are not there to trap travelling dads but to spot children being trafficked into or out of the UK. Whilst we can all understand the vital work officials do it is not pleasant to be caught up, with your children in tow , in delays at the airport because you did not take the paperwork with you . If you have a different surname to your child, you can think about taking a copy birth certificate or change of name deed, just in case questions are asked. 4. Communicate You may think that your ex-partner worries unnecessarily. They may well do. However, parents do worry if their children are abroad, even if they are with their mum or dad. The parent who is waiting for the children’s return to the UK may be panicking if they have not had a text from the children or if the flights are delayed. A quick message can not only avoid a fraught reunion between children and parent but can also avoid a parent refusing to agree to your taking the children away abroad again. [related_posts] If you need legal assistance with applying to take children abroad or advice on existing childcare arrangements or court orders then please contact us
Louise Halford
Jul 10, 2019   ·   4 minute read
Debra Lowy joins Evolve Family Law

Debra Lowy joins Evolve Family Law

Evolve Family Law is delighted to announce that it is all change again at Evolve Family Law with the arrival of Debra Lowy at the North Manchester branch of Evolve Family Law . Debra Lowy is a solicitor specialising in all aspects of private family law, from divorce and relationship breakdown, to financial settlements, and to child custody cases. Debra joins Robin Charrot, co-founder of Evolve Family Law and one of the North West’s leading experts on prenuptial agreements and financial settlements on divorce, at Evolve Family Law’s new North Manchester offices. Debra, who is a Prestwich resident, has over 25 years’ experience in divorce, financial settlement and child custody law, including at partner level. She is full of enthusiasm about her new role at Evolve Family Law. Debra says ‘’ it is great to join Evolve Family Law North Manchester office to help spread the word about Evolve Family Law and the services it offers. As a Prestwich resident, I think it is vital that North Manchester can compete with the likes of the city centre in Manchester in offering specialist professional service firms, whether that is accountancy, financial services or legal services. ‘’In my opinion, what marks Evolve Family Law out as different to your average law firm in either the suburbs or the city centre is that the client is at the heart of everything Evolve do . Some may call that just good old-fashioned service and I guess that is what it is, combined with a passion for family law. That dedication to client service and listening to clients to get the family law outcomes that are best for them matched my own ethos and approach to family law. ‘’ Evolve Family Law offers a personalised, local alternative to the large city-centre firms whilst being able to provide city-centre specialist expertise at affordable rates. That ethos really fits with my style of providing approachable but astute family law legal advice. If you are going through a relationship breakdown , worried about child custody , or concerned about who will get the house in a divorce split then you need the best possible advice and support to help you move on with your life. That is where I can help you. Commenting on Debra’s move to Evolve Family Law and the continued expansion of the firm, Robin Charrot said: “Our aim is to establish Evolve Family Law as the “go-to” divorce lawyers in North Manchester for all areas of family and private client law. Debra has really impressed us with her experience, enthusiasm, common sense and empathy. I’m sure Debra Lowy will help us to become the first choice legal advisors for local clients from all backgrounds in North Manchester.” If you would like to speak to Debra Lowy at Evolve Family Law please contact us [related_posts]
Louise Halford
Jul 03, 2019   ·   3 minute read
Agreeing Child Contact

Agreeing Child Contact

When a relationship breaks down parents need to reach an agreement on contact arrangements for their children. If they cannot do so, a family court judge can make a child arrangements order settling with whom the child should live and the contact arrangements. Child law advice can help parents avoid child arrangements order court proceedings by helping them reach an agreement. Agreeing child contact after separation or divorce Most of us like to think that if we were to split up from our partner we would still be able to communicate over the kids and sit down and sort out contact. However many separated or divorced couples find it hard to reach agreement on contact. They often need child law advice to help them reach a resolution and avoid court proceedings. Some parents worry about asking for children law advice, thinking that a solicitor will just recommend making an application to the family court for a child arrangements order to sort out residence and contact. The reality is that not all children law solicitors are like that. Most good children law solicitors will help a parent look at the contact options by considering contact from your ex-partners or child’s perspective, looking at the practicalities of what you both want, and advising on the sort of child arrangements order that a court might make if either you or your ex-partner were to make a court application. Shared care and equal parenting You may think that there is only one contact arrangement that will work for you and your family. Perhaps you know other separated families and the children all live with one parent with the other parent has alternate weekend contact. If your ex-partner wants to share the care of the children, and you do not know any other separated families that do that, their proposals can seem unworkable. However, parents can agree to and courts can order shared parenting of children. Shared care does not have to mean that children spend an equal amount of time with each parent. Shared care can involve overnight mid-week contact and the sharing of school holidays. Often the question of whether shared care and specific proposed contact arrangements will work for a family will hinge on practical considerations. For example, the distance of the school commute from both parent’s homes and both parent’s ability to communicate over mundane items, such as whether the school homework has been done or the washing and the handover of the school PE kit. A good children law solicitor can act as both a sounding board for shared care and contact proposals as well as advising on what a court is likely to order, after assessing your child’s needs and the family circumstances. Whilst parents always know their child’s needs best if it comes to court proceedings a judge will carry out their own assessment and make a child arrangements order. That is why good children law solicitors recommend trying to agree contact after a separation or divorce so parents remain in control, rather than the court.   Shared parenting – a campaign for law reform Campaigners are asking the government to change child custody law so there is a legal presumption that in every case where a mother and father separate or divorce, the mother and father will share the parenting of their children. Campaigners are calling for the start point when sorting out custody of children after a separation or divorce to be that children should spend roughly an equal amount of time with their mother and father. The campaign is supported by a recent YouGov survey in favour of shared parenting. Eight out of ten of the two thousand people who took part in the survey agreed that there should be a presumption of shared parenting after a separation or divorce unless the family situation meant there was a proven risk to the child of joint custody. [related_posts] Legal advice for child custody Manchester child custody solicitors say it is important that parents who want to agree contact after a separation or divorce take legal advice on child custody and contact. That is because communication between parents in the early days after a separation or divorce, can make a vast amount of difference to what contact arrangements can be agreed or the court is prepared to order. Child custody solicitors know that when it comes to either agreeing contact or asking a family judge to make a child arrangements order the presentation and preparation of your proposals is the key to success. In the future, for those parents who want to share the care of children after a separation, making the case in court for shared parenting may become easier if the government makes changes to child custody law. In the meantime, parents need a child custody solicitor who will listen to what they want and advise on the best way of agreeing contact after separation or divorce. For legal help agreeing contact or on any aspect of children law please contact us
Louise Halford
Jun 27, 2019   ·   5 minute read
Worried young woman sitting on sofa at home and ignoring her partner who is sitting next to her

No Fault Divorce Bill

The government has acknowledged that its plans to bring in legislation to introduce no fault or no blame divorce proceedings and dissolution of civil partnership proceedings in England and Wales may result in an increase in divorce proceedings. The Secretary of State for Justice, David Gauke made a statement recently saying that people were holding off starting divorce proceedings until the new UK divorce law comes into force. The government thinks that when the new divorce law is brought in there may be a spike in the divorce rate but the divorce rate will then level off and ultimately will be about the same. Manchester divorce solicitors have welcomed the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Bill as the Bill, when it becomes law, will remove the requirement to make allegations about spousal behaviour in divorce petitions. Proposed new divorce law The government is plans to change divorce law and civil partnership dissolution to: Remove the ability of a husband or wife or civil partner to oppose a divorce or dissolution of civil partnership in court; Make ‘’irretrievable breakdown’’ of a marriage or civil partnership the only ground for divorce or dissolution of civil partnership. There will be no need to prove one of the current ‘’facts’’ to get a divorce, such as unreasonable behaviour. Instead the spouse or civil partner seeking the divorce or dissolution of civil partnership will have to  provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown; Keep the two-stage decree nisi and the decree absolute divorce process; Provide a minimum timeframe of six months from start of the divorce petition stage to final decree absolute of divorce or civil partnership. This six month period is to allow time for reflection before the divorce proceedings or dissolution of civil partnership proceedings are finalised; Allow couples to jointly start divorce or dissolution proceedings should they elect to do so. Although the government minister has said that couples who are thinking about starting divorce proceedings or dissolution of civil partnership proceedings may delay their court proceedings until the divorce law reforms become law, divorce solicitors say that for some couples a delay in starting divorce or dissolution proceedings may not be in their interests. The current divorce law Currently there is no such thing as a ‘’no fault’’ divorce or dissolution of civil partnership. If you want to get divorced, without waiting, in England, you have to show that your marriage has ‘’irretrievably broken down’’ and cite either adultery or unreasonable behaviour. A civil partner can only cite unreasonable behaviour in a dissolution of civil partnership petition. Avoiding an acrimonious divorce    The top Manchester divorce solicitors believe that, in most cases, experienced divorce solicitors can help avoid any acrimony when starting divorce proceedings, based on adultery or unreasonable behaviour, by: Giving advice that in most situations the basis for the divorce proceedings or civil partnership proceedings will not affect the custody arrangements for the children or who gets the house ; and Preparing the divorce paperwork in a way that avoids unnecessarily inflaming any tension between a husband and wife or civil partners; and Helping a couple look at the major issues that need resolving, such as access and contact arrangements for the children, payment of child support and spousal maintenance and sorting out a financial settlement and financial court order. [related_posts] Should you delay your divorce?  Some couples are already asking top Manchester divorce solicitors if they should delay getting divorced now to avoid having to say that their partner has committed adultery or behaved unreasonably in the divorce petition. The top Manchester divorce solicitors say that: Starting divorce proceedings because of a spouse’s unreasonable behaviour or adultery does not have to increase animosity between a couple if there is a an explanation given by divorce  solicitors of why you are having to include the allegations in a petition; In some family situations, it is vital to start divorce proceedings without delay. For example, if you are worried that your spouse could start divorce proceedings in another jurisdiction or if you are concerned that a delay in starting divorce proceedings could reduce the amount of a financial settlement. For example, a spouse could spend a pension lump sum payment or a spouse could transfer or hide assets. Top Manchester divorce solicitors recommend that if you are contemplating a divorce or dissolution of civil partnership that legal advice is taken on the timing of starting court proceedings. That is because new legislation is not the only way of ensuring that you can get divorced without acrimony, as a lot depends on your choice of solicitor and willingness to communicate and compromise where appropriate. How can Evolve Family Law solicitors help? For advice on starting divorce proceedings or dissolution of civil partnership proceedings or for children law or financial settlement advice contact us Appointments available in Manchester and Holmes Chapel, Cheshire
Louise Halford
Jun 26, 2019   ·   5 minute read
Can I Move With My Children After Divorce?

Can I Move With My Children After Divorce?

If a parent had asked me the question "After my divorce, can I move to another part of the country with my child?’’ a few months ago I would have said "Yes you can", unless the family situation was complicated. As a Manchester children solicitor it is always hard to explain to a parent why different rules apply if, after a separation or divorce, you want to relocate in the UK or abroad with your child. The law and moving within the UK with a child The law on relocating with a child within the UK not always clear. Imagine the scenario of a parent who wants to move from Manchester to Cornwall. Anyone who has made the trip by car, train, coach or plane knows that it is far easier and quicker to get to some locations in France or Spain than get to Cornwall. Until recently, our children solicitors’ advice would have been that it was unlikely that a court would stop the primary or main carer of a child from moving within the UK. That advice was given whether it was a move from Cheshire to Derbyshire or further afield, for example, to Devon. The only reported family court cases where a parent, usually the mother, had been prevented from moving within the UK with a child was when there were highly exceptional circumstances. For example, the child had a disability. The internal relocation of children and the case of BB V CC The case that is proving of such interest to Manchester children solicitors is that of a 3-year-old little boy in a family court case labelled ‘’BB V CC’’. The mother and father separated and the move took the child from South East England to the North. Court proceedings were started. The court made a shared custody or child arrangements order and said the mother would need to move back to the south with the child so that shared custody with the father would work. The child’s mother appealed against the decision. The facts of most family cases are a little more complex than the bare bones. In family cases, it can be the detail that sways a judge’s decision. In every family court case, the decision has to be about what is in a child’s best interests. In the case of BB V CC, the parents had an arranged marriage. The mother came to the UK to live with her husband at the paternal family home in London. When the child was about one the parents separated. The mother relocated to the North. The father saw this as child abduction as the mother had not discussed the plan with him. The mother made serious allegations of domestic violence against the father and his parents. The court decided that the allegations of domestic violence against the paternal family were not established. The judge was concerned that parental alienation might take place if the father was not able to share the care of the little boy. The court ordered temporary contact but said the mother should relocate back to the southeast, near to where the father resided. The court said if the mother did not move back to the southeast with the child the court would think about giving the father custody of the child. The Appeal The mother appealed against the judge’s decision. She said there were no exceptional circumstances that should require her to relocate with the child within the UK. The appeal judge decided that the care of the little boy should be shared. The court said it was not possible for both parents to share the care of their son and live at other ends of the country. The judge therefore refused the mother’s appeal. [related_posts] Parental alienation and moving after divorce In the court judgment, the judge said she thought that parental alienation might take place if the mother stayed in the northeast and brought up the child with infrequent contact with his father. The judge said the child could suffer emotional harm if parental alienation took place. Internal relocation and exceptional circumstances The judge in the case of BB V CC considered the case law and decided that a children case did not have to be exceptional in order to make an internal relocation order. The judge said that the court should assess what was in the child’s best interests, and that the child’s welfare should be the court’s paramount concern. Opposing the internal relocation of children The court decision of BB V CC is likely to increase the number of parents wanting to bring court applications to try to use the court process to stop a parent and child from moving within the UK. Our children solicitors anticipate that, for parents wanting to move, it will be argued that the case of BB V CC should be looked at on its family facts. Namely the judge’s dismissal of the allegations of domestic violence and her concerns about parental alienation by the mother if the child was brought up a long distance away from the father. The law and relocating abroad with a child The law says that if a parent wants to take a child abroad to live then they need the written agreement of the other parent or a court order giving them permission to take the child abroad to live. How can Evolve Family Law Solicitors help? To get legal assistance from our children law expert Louise Halford  about the internal relocation of children in the UK , children law applications and child arrangements orders please contact us.
Louise Halford
May 24, 2019   ·   5 minute read
Writing a Will

Writing a Will

Writing a Will protects your loved ones. It is, therefore, one of the most important things that you can do for your family. Why write a Will? Provides for your family and/or other beneficiaries Protects your family Clarifies how you want things to be dealt with after you have passed away Can be a means of reducing the inheritance tax payable on your estate. What is a Will? A Will is a legally binding document. It sets out how you would like your estate to be distributed on your death. Your Will can specify who will inherit and what they inherit. Your Will can offer comfort to your loved ones, knowing that you took the time and trouble to protect them with a Will. What is Intestacy? If you die without making a Will, then you die intestate. Your estate is distributed in accordance with intestacy rules. The intestacy rules are not flexible. They probably will not reflect how you would have left your estate if you had made a Will. The intestacy rules dictate who will inherit from your estate. Your unmarried partner will not inherit. only a partner in a married or in a civil partnership relationship inherits under intestacy rules. The intestacy rules mean that your relatives will inherit according to a strict order, set out in legislation. This may mean that a wealthy relative will inherit your estate rather than your partner or a deserving close friend or charity. You may view your stepchildren as your relations. However, under intestacy rules they would get nothing as they are not biologically related to you. If you have no blood-relatives, your estate will go to the Crown. Wills help the family Not having a Will makes a devastating time for your family just that bit more difficult. Having a Will in place, and ideally discussing the contents with loved ones, gives peace of mind at a stressful time. It is particularly important to make a Will if you are in an unmarried relationship or have stepchildren that you want to leave a legacy to. Wills help the family business With a family business, it is not only your family who rely on you. Your family and your employees will be looking for financial security. A will, and if appropriate, a shareholder agreement or cross-option agreement, will help provide business continuity until the business is sold or transferred to your chosen beneficiary or other business shareholders as part of the cross-option agreement. Wills help children You can appoint a testamentary guardian in your Will for any child under the age of 18. Although other family members can bring a court case to say that they want to look after your child, the appointment of a testamentary guarding is compelling evidence of who you thought would be the best person to bring up your child. As well as leaving a legacy in your Will for your child, you can protect your minor child by: Appointing trustees in your Will who deal with the legacy until your child is of an age to inherit Giving the trustees the power to advance capital or income to your child. This is in the case your child needs income to pay, for example, tuition fees Starting when your child should receive their inheritance, this could be at 18, 21, or at a later age Placing money in a discretionary trust so that your child is protected from potential future claims, for example, by an estranged spouse. [related_posts] Wills can save money on inheritance tax Writing a Will can help to reduce the amount of inheritance tax payable by your estate. If you leave all your estate to your spouse or civil partner, there is normally no tax to pay. There are other ways that you can reduce the amount of inheritance tax that your estate would pay. How much does a Will cost? Evolve is one of the first law firms to publish a price guide and fixed fees for Wills. Evolve can check and review your existing Will for you. It is sensible to get your Will checked because family and personal circumstances change or your Will may no longer be as tax efficient as it could be. If you have complex finances and businesses, and need in-depth advice on trusts, estate planning and tax or on domicile then call us for a bespoke quote. If you need a Will or a Lasting Power of Attorney, or would like a review of your existing arrangements, then please contact us    
Louise Halford
Apr 17, 2019   ·   4 minute read
What Does Co-Parenting Mean?

What Does Co-Parenting Mean?

When you are separating, a lot of words get thrown around including custody, contact, access, child arrangements, shared parenting and of course, co-parenting. I am sure that many parents' heads must spin with all the legal jargon. In recent years, one of the "buzz" words has been 'co-parenting'. What does co-parenting mean when you separate or divorce? Child Custody Terminology Perhaps the best place to start is with an explanation of all the children law terminology used to describe who the primary carer of a child is. As a children solicitor who has been representing parents in children law applications for over 20 years, I am old enough to remember the times that judges routinely made custody and access orders. I still refer to custody and access. That is because parents refer to custody and access. It is not surprising that they do, as the papers, television programmes and films all talk about custody and access. I suspect that is because the media and producers think readers and viewers are not up to date with new terminology. The law changed the name of custody orders to "residence order" and access to "contact order". Those labels didn't stick around for that many years. The current terminology for a children custody, access, residence or contact order is a 'child arrangements order'. What is a children arrangements order? A child arrangements order combines a custody and access order by specifying what time a child will spend with each parent. The terminology is meant to make both parents feel of equal value as in most family situations both parents share parental responsibility for their child. This means they have equal rights and responsibilities for their child. That is the case even if they do not spend the same amount of parenting time with the child. The rationale behind the change in terminology was to get away from the idea that there was one parent who should be labelled as "the parent with care" or the "primary carer" and an "absent pareant". What does co-parenting after separation or divorce mean? Depending on to whom you speak to, you will get a different answer about what co-parenting means after a separation or divorce. To me, co-parenting is about co-operative parenting. It is about parents sharing the care of their child after a separation or divorce. What co-parenting does not mean is a slavish equal split of time spent with each parent or an equal split of day-to-day responsibility for a child. What co-parenting does mean in practise is: Providing consistent parenting in both households, so that is some consistency of routine, of style, of style and types of discipline and of chore expectations. Communication between parents so that they know of issues in the child's life, such as a bad day at school or a falling out with a best friend. Discussion between parents so, for example, a child doesn't end up with 2 similar presents on their birthday but perhaps one joint one. Playing to parents' strengths and weaknesses. If a parent does not like football, but the child does, arranging contact around football so that the other parent shoulders the responsibility of taking the child to matches and shouting at the side-lines. Respecting the other parent and their role in the child's life, even if they do not spend an equal amount of time with the child. So, for example agreeing that a child can spend fathers' or mothers' day with the correct parent, whatever the parenting regime; or making sure a child has bought a birthday card or present for a father or mother. [related_posts] Co-parenting is all about sharing parental responsibility This can include child maintenance, but, just as importantly, it  can involve one parent supporting the other parent if they have made an unwelcome decision, such as limiting i-pad time to an hour a day or confiscated a mobile phone. The other important thing to remember is co-parenting can involve others, such as grandparents, stepparent or extended family. It can be very hard to think of others having a role in your child's life, but it is easier for the child if they can talk to you openly about life at home with their other family. As a children solicitor, I am often asked about changing parenting arrangements. We often forget that a child grows up and that the contact that works at age 8 may not suit the child's needs at age 13. Co-parenting therefore has to evolve with the changing needs of both the child and the family composition and location. After all, half siblings may arrive later to join a child in a household or a parent many have to move out of the area with their job. However a parents chooses to parent their child, I always recommend that when they are thinking about separating or divorcing, that they try to look at the parenting arrangements from the  perspective of the child's needs. Your needs may coincide with the child, but having a child-focus often makes it easier to agree on the custody, contact and parenting time. There are always some parents for whom co-parenting and agreeing on custody and contact is not an option for a whole variety of reasons. That is why, despite the changing terminology, there is always the last resort option of applying to court for a child arrangements order. For legal help with children law orders, custody and contact and parenting arrangements please contact us today
Louise Halford
Apr 05, 2019   ·   5 minute read