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As specialist children law solicitors we are asked if the family court will order that a husband or wife or an ex-partner cannot have contact with their child because of parental alcohol addiction. There isn’t a yes or no answer as in every case the court will look at what is in the best interests of the child. In this blog we look at the topic of alcohol addiction in children law proceedings.
Can alcoholism stop child contact?
Children solicitors will tell you that it is too broad a question to ask ‘’can alcoholism stop child contact?’’ as so much depends on:
Whether the alcoholism has an effect on the parent’s behaviour towards the child or the other parent
The age of the child
The effect (short and long term) of not having an ongoing relationship with a parent
The measures that could be put in place to make contact safe and rewarding for the child
The help available for the child and parents.
When a children law solicitor is asked about alcoholism and child contact they will normally want to know how one parent’s alcohol use affects their daily life and their behaviour towards their child. That is because there are many people with ‘’functioning alcoholism’’ who are able to work and enjoy relationships whereas sadly that isn’t the case for others.
That is why it is so important that children law solicitors take the time to discuss your particular family circumstances and drill down to what it is about the alcohol usage that makes you want to stop child contact.
A case study of how alcohol affects child contact
One mother whose ex-husband was a highly successful business owner and functioning alcoholic wanted to stop contact between her two teenage sons and their father because of his alcoholism.
What was actually her ‘’drilled down ‘’ cause of concern was her ex-husband insisting that he was ok to drive the children and her fears for their safety. From the mother’s perspective, it was good that her children continued to see their dad so that they knew he was all right and that they didn’t worry about him or hold him on a pedestal because she had stopped contact.
In this mother’s case the best thing to do was to listen to her and help her find the right solution for her children. She knew, from past experience, that as her husband didn’t want to deal with his functioning alcoholism, no amount of requests from her would make him see a counsellor or get help. Likewise, after discussion and legal advice, she knew that one of her teenage sons would blame her if contact stopped whereas the other one found contact embarrassing and wasn’t bothered about going.
Some children law solicitors see an application for a child arrangements order or a prohibited steps order to stop contact as the answer to all problems over contact. It isn’t necessarily the solution. In the mother’s case, after she had taken legal advice on her options, she had the experience to realise that if she applied for a child arrangements order the father would deny his alcoholism and refuse to take part in any testing ordered by the court or psychological assessment or any recommended follow up treatment or support.
Whilst the court has the power to order tests and assessments in child arrangements order applications, the court cannot make a parent undergo alcohol or substance testing or assessment if the parent refuses to do so. All the court can do is draw inferences from a parent’s unwillingness to participate in testing or assessment.
The court’s ability to make inferences is often a powerful motivator in a parent’s willingness to participate in testing and assessment. That is because of the parent’s belief that the testing results should be better for them than inferences based on a lack of cooperation after the other parent has raised sufficient concerns for the court to be willing to sanction testing or assessment.
When it comes to alcoholism and child contact, an application for a child arrangements order can bring about a lot of change as the court arena can make parents realise just how seriously the other parent views their issue with alcohol. In other families compromise can be the better option for the family.
So you may wonder how the mother of the two teenage boys resolved her dilemma over her ex-husband’s alcoholism and her fears for her teenage sons travelling in a car driven by their father. She looked at what was best for her sons and concluded that maintaining a relationship with their father was the best option for them. Whilst he was unreliable as a father and let the children down he was nonetheless their father and the youngest would blame her, rather than his father’s alcoholism, for the lack of contact.
The mother set about problem solving and instead of the boys going to visit their dad at his home, where there was alcohol and films she didn’t approve of, contact became centred on football matches and she asked her brother in law and the children’s uncle to help provide support and a safe means of transport.
Did the solution work? It certainly wasn’t without its difficulties and it put the teenagers in a position of reporting if there were issues. This was not something the mother felt very comfortable about but she concluded, on balance, that it was the right thing to do even if on occasion she was used as a taxi service and the boys were let down when their father didn’t show up.
Would the child contact solutions have been different for another parent? As children law solicitors we would say yes. For example:
If the parent’s alcoholism was more recent in nature and the parent was more likely to agree to testing and assessment as part of a child arrangements order application
The parent’s behaviour, fuelled by their alcoholism, made it dangerous for the other parent to come into contact with them and meant that they needed injunction orders to protect themselves
The child wasn’t old enough to help safeguard themselves. In that scenario contact fully supported by grandparents or taking place within a contact centre may be the best option for the child
The child was of an age to say that they didn’t want to see their parent and the other parent fears that forcing them to have contact isn’t actually best for the child. Sometimes family counselling is one way forward if a child and parent will agree to this so an older child can explain , in a safe and neutral setting, how they feel and how not turning up for pre-arranged contact or any other effects of the alcohol addiction makes the child feel.
Recreational use, binge drinking, dependence or alcohol addiction
Children law solicitors will tell you that one of the biggest issues in trying to resolve parenting and childcare arrangements when there are alcohol or substance use concerns is the parent’s differing perception of the issue.
Many dedicated and caring parents say that they are ‘’recreational users’’ of substances or over imbibe and binge drink at the weekends. Should that affect their contact with their child? It all depends on the parenting arrangement as, for example. alternate weekend contact and midweek contact may meet the child’s needs and not affect the parent’s lifestyle choices. It can sometimes be hard for the other parent to accept that such contact could be in a child’s best interests when they have lived full time with the parent’s binge drinking behaviour.
It is equally hard when one parent believes that the other is alcohol dependent and the other disputes it. Sometimes practical, non-judgemental examples of how a child feels can help make contact work, for example, saying how the child feels if the parent doesn’t turn up for contact or arrives late.
If you think that your ex-partner is alcohol dependent or their substance misuse is affecting the quality of their contact then you can ask the court to:
Make a child arrangements order to restrict contact, for example, so contact takes place at a contact centre or is supervised by a family member
Make a child arrangements order subject to conditions so that the parent must comply with conditions such as not drinking for twenty four hours before a contact visit
Stop direct contact between parent and child. Indirect contact such as letters, cards, presents, phone calls and Skype may all be appropriate depending on their content and whether the child gets very distressed if the parent makes promises about Skype calls but then forgets.
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Ideally, talk of starting an application for a child arrangements order can make a parent realise just how worried the other parent is and even if they don’t see their drinking as a problem they will try to modify their behaviour and drinking around contact times.
What to do next?
If you are worried about your child because you think that your former partner’s alcohol or substance use is affecting their relationship and contact is having an adverse effect on your child then before you stop or change contact it is best to take legal advice from a children law solicitor and professional advice. Speaking to someone else can help you come to a balanced view on whether an application for a child arrangements order is in your child’s best interests and your alternative options.
If you are a parent who has had allegations of drug or alcohol abuse made against you then the best advice is to take legal advice. That is because the first thing many parents do is deny there is a problem. Sometimes there isn’t a problem. However, if there is an issue with alcohol consumption, then denying that the problem exists makes it more likely that the court will make a child arrangements order that you are unhappy with whereas that outcome can potentially be avoided through cooperation and representation.
Cheshire Children Law Solicitors
For legal help with children law and child care arrangements where there are allegations of alcohol misuse please call us or contact us online.
Whilst we are all living in unprecedented times and there are no certainties about when we will come out of the government imposed Covid-19 lockdown and know the full economic impact of coronavirus, questions are already being asked about whether the family court can be asked to change a financial court order because of the effect of Covid-19. In this blog we look at if you can ask a court to change your financial court order because of coronavirus.Online family law financial settlement solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to advise existing and new family law clients on all coronavirus related family law questions including financial issues arising from Covid 19. If you need advice on your financial court order or any other aspect of family law call Evolve Family Law on 0345 222 8 222 or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.Jump to:
Can a financial court order be changed?
Covid-19 and changing financial court orders
What is a Barder event?
Is Covid-19 a Barder event?
Can a financial court order be changed?
Many people think that once a financial court order has been made then ‘’that’s it’’ but some aspects of a financial court order can be changed by making a variation application. Examples of when you can apply to vary a financial court order include:
Applying to stop spousal maintenance payments
Applying to reduce or increase the amount of spousal maintenance payments
Applying to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance payments are paid for
Applying to discharge or vary a child support maintence requirement contained in a financial court order such as a child support court order for step-children, a top up child support order or a child support order for a disabled child
Applying to end or vary a school fees order so that you are no longer required to pay school fees or the order is changed to vary the percentage amount of the school fees you are required to pay under the school fees order
Asking the court to capitalise the spousal maintenance payments in the financial court order so instead of ongoing monthly spousal maintenance payment a lump sum is paid as a one off payment
Applying to the court to change the mechanics for the sale of the family home if the financial court order included an order that the family home should be sold. Whilst the court won't normally change how much you should receive from the sale proceeds, the court can give directions about the sale price of the family home or say whether an offer should be accepted or say whether the choice of estate agent should be changed or to order that a family law judge can sign the legal paperwork to sell the family home if one owner refuses to do so.
These are the types of clauses contained in a financial court order that can usually be changed either by agreement with your ex-husband or ex-wife or through making an application to vary specific clauses in the financial court order.Covid-19 and changing financial court orders
Given the financial and economic impact of Covid-19 some people want to make more drastic changes to their financial court order and want to know if they can apply to change:
An order to transfer the family home into the sole name of their ex-husband or ex-wife as their ex-spouse can no longer secure a mortgage to take over the mortgage liability so they want the family home sold instead
An order that the amount of a lump sum payment is reduced to reflect the reduction in the value of the overall family assets because of the drop in the value of investments or in the value of a family business
An order that on the sale of the family home the ex-husband or ex-wife will get a fixed amount from the equity in the family home and their ex-spouse will get the balance of the equity
An order that one ex-spouse retains cash assets and the other retains more illiquid assets (such as a share portfolio or shares in a family business) that are now either difficult to sell or would have to be sold at a significant undervalue to the value given to the asset at the time that the financial court order was made.
There are many other examples of situations where one spouse now thinks that the financial court order, either made by agreement with their ex-spouse or after a contested court hearing, is now very unfair and prejudicial to them.
Court rules say that although you can apply to vary or change some parts of a financial court order (like the payment of spousal maintenance or the mechanics of the sale of the family home) you can't apply to the court to change the capital elements of the financial court order (such as the amount of a lump sum payment or whether assets should be split differently to that ordered by the court) unless you:
Appeal against the financial court order – you can only do this if you can say that the family judge either got the facts or the law wrong. There are time limits in which to appeal against a financial court order
Apply to change the financial court order because of a Barder event (including the capital elements of the financial court order).
What is a Barder event?
A ‘’Barder event’’ is when an unforeseen event invalidates the fundamental assumption on which a financial court order was based. You may therefore think that the family court will treat Covid 19 as a Barder event as none of us, politicians included, realised the significance of the flu like virus in Wuhan when news of the illness was first confirmed by the Chinese authorities on the 31 December 2019.
However for something to be deemed a ‘’Barder event’’ the family court has previously decided that:
The event must have occurred after the making of the financial court order
The event must invalidate the basis, or the fundamental assumption, on which the financial court order was made
The event must have occurred within a short time of the making of the financial court order
The application to change the financial court order has to be made reasonably promptly
Permission to pursue a Barder case won't prejudice a third party who has bought or acquired an asset that is now the subject of the Barder court application.
The key to making a Barder application is to do it quickly. If you leave things to ‘’see how coronavirus pans out’’ then you may leave it too late to apply to court to change the capital elements of your financial court order. As timing of the Barder application is crucial it is best to take expert family law advice as quickly as possible.Is Covid-19 a Barder event?
What amounts to a Barder event is determined by a judge using guidance issued in earlier court of appeal decisions.
In 2008, the court of appeal decided that the global financial crisis and stock market crash was not an unforeseen event because markets fall and rise. Other court cases have said that natural market fluctuations aren’t a Barder event. However, many would argue that a global pandemic, wiping billions off the value of the stock market, was neither natural nor foreseeable back in early December 2019. Whether the impact of Covid 19 on the value of a family business or on an investment portfolio is treated as a Barder event on is yet to be tested but much may depend on the particular personal and financial circumstances of your case and that is why it is best to get expert legal advice.Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are here to answer all your family law questions whether it is a coronavirus related family law question, child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship or financial issues arising from coronavirus. If you need advice on aspect of family law call us on 0345 222 8 222 or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.Latest From Our Divorce Blog:
Coronavirus is making us look at every aspect of our lives, from how we socialise and exercise to how and where we work. With constant talk of hospital admission figures and mortality rates many of you are worried about raising your fears about coronavirus and financial concerns. However, whether you pay or receive either child maintenance or spousal maintenance , payments of maintenance may need to be reviewed and resolved. In this blog we look at child support, spousal maintenance and the impact of coronavirus.
Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to advise existing and new family law clients on all coronavirus related family law questions from child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship during lockdown or the financial issues arising from Covid 19. If you need legal assistance call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
Coronavirus and spousal maintenance and child support payments
When you agree to pay or to receive an amount in spousal maintenance or child support it is often assumed that the amount you are expected to pay, or that you will receive, won't change all that much . However, whether it is spousal maintenance or child support, the amount you pay or receive in financial support can be reviewed either upwards or downwards.
Many of you are very worried about coronavirus and your jobs or fear that your income from self-employment will reduce drastically (if not disappear altogether) over the next few months. Whilst the government has assured us all that financial help is at hand, for both the employed and the self-employed, there are reports that people are confused about the eligibility rules for government help and are worried about how they can pay spousal maintenance or child support now.
If you are the person who is receiving the maintenance payment it is equally worrying as many feel that they are in an impossible position, having taken out mortgages and financial commitments, on the basis of promised or ordered spousal maintenance or child support.
Spousal maintenance orders and Covid-19
Spousal maintenance is either paid on a voluntary basis between husband and wife or civil partner or under a spousal maintenance court order.
If you are paying or receiving spousal maintenance under a court order then the first thing that you should look at is the wording of the financial court order and the spousal maintenance clause. If you are in any doubt about the wording or meaning of the spousal maintenance clause then it is best to take legal advice.
There are a number of ways in which spousal maintenance court orders can require the payment of spousal maintenance, such as:
Joint lives spousal maintenance – spousal maintenance is payable until the death or the re-marriage of the person receiving the spousal maintenance payments
Time limited spousal maintenance – spousal maintenance is paid for a set period of time and then stops on a date specified in the court order. In some cases, the person receiving the spousal maintenance can apply to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance is paid for but they have to apply to court to extend the length of time that spousal maintenance is paid for prior to the expiry of the order. In other court orders the spousal maintenance is said to be time limited with no option to extend the length of time that it is paid for.
Can spousal maintenance orders be changed?
Spousal maintenance orders can be changed by court order or by agreement. If your financial circumstances have changed because of coronavirus and you are paying or receiving spousal maintenance the government is urging you to try to reach an agreement with your ex-partner over spousal maintenance.
Family law solicitors say that whilst it is important, if possible, to reach an agreement over changes in spousal maintenance payments any agreement should be temporary or a holding agreement until the Covid 19 position is clearer.
Every family situation is different so you may need specialist legal advice on what to do about spousal maintenance payments. Some payments may need to stop and others may need to reduce or increase. Here are two case examples:
A dentist is no longer able to work but because he has an employer who is continuing to pay him then the spousal maintenance can continue at the same rate for the time being. The spousal maintenance might need to reduce or stop if the employer is forced to stop the dentist’s salary or the salary is reduced to the cap set by the government coronavirus income scheme
A National Health Service consultant is not affected financially by Covid 19 but his ex-wife has lost her job in the travel industry. Depending on her circumstances her spousal maintenance may need to increase on a temporary basis until she can get another job. If her spousal maintenance is a time limited order she may need to ask the court to extend the period of the spousal maintenance court order.
Tips on how to change spousal maintenance payments by agreement
In these highly unusual times the focus is on working together. That is the message that the government is giving when it comes to sorting out the changes to child care , spousal maintenance or child support that are required because of coronavirus.
Tips on how to change spousal maintenance payments by agreement include:
Communicate with your ex either directly, through a trusted friend or your family solicitor. If you don’t tell your ex what is going on and be upfront about how Covid-19 has affected you financially then they will expect the spousal maintenance payments to continue
Provide paperwork – family law solicitors say there is often an element of mistrust between separated spouses and so if you want your ex-spouse to agree to a reduction in spousal maintenance you will need to provide the supporting paperwork to show that you have lost your job or that your hours have been reduced or a bonus scheme scrapped
Reflect on any discussions with your ex and don’t be rushed into making long term decisions. After all your ex-spouse may get a new job or the government scheme may mean that their income isn’t as badly affected as first thought. You should not agree to any major changes in the spousal maintenance order or agree to the cessation of payments and cancellation of the spousal maintenance order without first taking legal advice
Record your agreement – if you are able to reach a spousal maintenance agreement with your ex-spouse then you need to record the agreement in case one of you changes your mind. If there is no clear recorded agreement then your ex could apply to court to enforce the spousal maintenance order and ask for payment of arrears of spousal maintenance. They may not be successful in that court application if there is a clear agreement drawn up by you (or your solicitors) that spousal maintenance is being changed temporarily and the reasons why and when spousal maintenance will be reviewed again, for example, if the payer gets a new job or a government income subsidy
Understand the court options- it is important to know that if your ex-spouse won't agree to a reduction or temporary stopping of spousal maintenance what your legal options are. You could apply to court to vary the spousal maintenance order to reduce or stop the payments. Your ex-spouse could apply to court for payment of arrears of spousal maintenance and to enforce the spousal maintenance order. The court decision would be based on all the circumstances of your case and the ability of the paying person to pay spousal maintenance. If you are upfront with the paperwork relating to the change in income this may make a court application to formally vary the spousal maintenance order unnecessary.
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Can child maintenance be changed?
Covid-19 and the financial fallout and economic downturn will affect child support payments as well as spousal maintenance orders. In most families child support is either paid as a voluntary arrangement between you and your ex-partner or under a child maintenance service assessment. It is rare for there to be a child support court order as the court only has limited jurisdiction to make child support orders.
Again family law solicitors are recommending that parents talk to one another about child maintenance and to see whether the child support needs to be changed because of a change in the payer’s financial circumstances. If the payments are made under a child maintenance service assessment then you may need to ask the agency to carry out a new assessment.
Online family law and maintenance solicitors
Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are here to answer all your family law questions whether it is a coronavirus related family law question, child contact, help with leaving an abusive relationship or financial issues arising from coronavirus. If you legal help call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
If you are in an abusive relationship then you may think that during the coronavirus outbreak there is no help available and that you’re ‘’on your own’’. Although all this talk of self-isolation and social distancing may make you feel like that, the message from family law solicitors is that ‘’you are not alone’’. There is help available during the coronavirus outbreak if you are in an abusive relationship. In this blog we look at your legal options if you are caught up in an abusive relationship and need help to get out of it during the coronavirus outbreak.
Online domestic violence and family law solicitors
Although law offices may be closed because of Covid-19, Cheshire and Manchester based Evolve Family Law solicitors are working online to support those at risk of domestic violence needing help to leave an abusive relationship during the Covid-19 lockdown. If you need legal assistance call us or complete our online enquiry form to set up a video conference or telephone appointment.
Coping in abusive relationships during the coronavirus outbreak
If your partner is abusive towards you then it is difficult enough to cope when life is ‘’normal’’. For many the fact that partners are now either working from home or not able to work, and so are based at home full time, is particularly hard. There is no escape from home for you to visit friends or family or go off to work.
Tensions can also be increased by your partner’s health or financial anxieties about Covid-19, their lack of ability to go to the pub or to the gym to meet up with their friends and the presence of the children twenty four hours a day at the family home.
The government has said that it wants Covid-19 to bring out ‘’the best in us’’. That is a laudable aim but sadly domestic violence organisations and family law solicitors know that, for some families, domestic abuse may increase because of having to spend so much time with a partner. Alternatively, partners who haven’t previously been abusive may snap and either lash out or become very coercive and controlling.
When you hear that the police are cracking down on people leaving their homes it may make you reluctant to leave or seek help from domestic violence organisations or family law solicitors but, coronavirus or not, if you are in an abusive relationship you should seek help.
Those people who are contacting us about abusive partners are often reluctant to acknowledge the extent of the abuse and prefer to minimise some of the partner’s behaviour, especially if it falls short of physical violence and involves coercive control such as:
Dictating what you can eat
Saying when you can watch the TV and what programmes you can watch
Checking your mobile phone or internet usage
Restricting when or if you can go out for your daily exercise or for essentials like food shopping
Forcing you to have sex
Not allowing you any freedom within your house by insisting on being in the same room as you
Listening into your phone calls to friends and family.
As the restrictions on the movement of people continues in force because of the Covid-19 pandemic the sort of coercive controlling behaviour that you could cope with when one or both of you were out working can become intolerable. However, there is help available.
Help if you are in an abusive relationship
The police, domestic violence organisations, the family courts and online family law solicitors are continuing to offer help to those trapped in an abusive relationship.
If you or your children are at risk of immediate harm then you should call the police. The police understand that the risks of domestic violence are increased during the current crisis. They may be able to arrest your partner. If the situation is so serious that you can't wait for the police to arrive you can leave with your children as the authorities will accept that leaving an abusive relationship is an emergency and that is an exception to the requirement to stay indoors.
In addition to the police there are various domestic violence organisations who are open and available to help and offer support:
The National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
The Men’s Advice Line – 0808 801 0327
The Mix, information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
The National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428
The Samaritans – 116 123
In addition to police and domestic violence organisation help the family court and domestic violence solicitors are open to help you if you need court protection in the form of an injunction order.
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Injunctions against domestic violence during the Covid-19 outbreak
You may have read that most courts and public offices are closed. Whilst that is correct the family courts are open for remote emergency hearings including applications for:
Non-molestation injunction orders
Occupation orders
Emergency child arrangements orders and other types of children orders to safeguard and protect children.
Therefore, if you are in an abusive relationship, there is help available from the family court. Don’t worry that you may not be able to get to see a family law solicitor. Even prior to the coronavirus outbreak many family law and domestic violence solicitors were used to taking instructions by phone appointment or video conference and used to conducting court hearings remotely.
That isn’t to say that things are a bit of a challenge but if you need help then both the court and family law solicitors are just a phone call away.
If you need protection then a family law injunction order may be your best option. There are two types of family law injunction order:
A non-molestation order – to stop your partner from being physically violent or aggressive or verbally abusive or exerting coercive control over you
An occupation order – to stop your partner from returning to the family home (if he/she has left but is threatening to return to the family home) or to make your partner leave the family home or to restrict him/her to certain parts of the family home.
The court and family law solicitors also recognise that you might need help if you are living with extended family and are being subjected to domestic violence or coercive control or that you may need help with your children and need the security of a children order, such as
A child arrangements order
A specific issue order
A prohibited steps order.
It is often the case that people suffer in silence when they live with an abusive partner or they think that what they are coping with isn’t ‘’bad enough’’ to get help. Since the Covid 19 rules on restriction of movement have come in many have thought that they are trapped in an abusive relationship for the duration of lockdown. Domestic violence organisations, the police, courts and family law solicitors are saying that domestic violence and abusive behaviour isn’t right in any circumstances and that if you need help then call.
Online family law solicitors
The specialist family lawyers at Evolve Family Law can help you if you are in an abusive relationship and you need legal help. Call us or complete our online enquiry form for a video conference or telephone appointment.
Update 24th March 2020:
In UK government guidance published 24 March, it states:
Where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents’ homes
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others
Whilst parents may wish or need to adapt contact arrangements, they can, and should still continue for children. These are frightening times for children and maintaining normality will hopefully help quell their fears. Now, more than ever, parents should put aside their differences and co-operate and act in their children’s best interest at all times.
This advice should be read in conjunction with the following Government advice on what to do if someone in your household becomes unwell:
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection
Parents want to protect their child and that is particularly true when it comes to the coronavirus. It is hard enough coping with the worries of looking after your children and safeguarding them in normal times but in a pandemic the job of being a parent has just got so much harder. That is the case whether you are living with your partner, separated or divorced. In this blog we look at the question of coronavirus and child contact after a separation or divorce.
Online children law solicitors
Evolve Family Law are based in Cheshire and Manchester but offer a full range of online children law services with appointments available by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help with child custody and contact please contact us.
Stopping Child Contact Because of Coronavirus
We are receiving a high number of enquiries asking us whether child arrangements can continue now the government has restricted our movements. We are getting a real sense that the vast majority of these parents aren’t wanting to stop contact to upset their ex-partner or trying to use Covid-19 as an excuse to stop contact visits that they don’t like, but because they genuinely fear for their children and their families. At the moment the advice from the government agency, CAFCASS, is to continue contact arrangements as normal as CAFCASS thinks it is in the best interests of children to maintain contact so the children keep to a familiar routine, even if they are missing out on going to school.
Whilst some may say that statistically children should be OK even if they get the coronavirus that doesn’t ease parent’s anxiety and fears that children going back and forth between households could increase the risk of spreading infection to a member of your family who is in a high risk group with an underlying health condition and is therefore more vulnerable to Covid-19.
There is also a concern being expressed by parents about what might happen if a child is on a contact visit and the other parent falls ill and the family has to self-isolate or if the country goes into lock down and children can't travel back to you.
One of the issues facing separated or divorced parents is that not everyone is as worried about Covid-19 as some are. That can create feelings of tension and acrimony between parents who are living together with their children, let alone separated or divorced parents where there may already be an element of mistrust or a history of communication problems.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that if you want to stop contact because of the coronavirus and high risk issues then whether you can legally do so will depend on whether there is an existing child arrangements order in place and what it says. If you have an existing child arrangements order and you don’t know if you can stop contact or not then it is best to take legal advice.
Coronavirus and Child Arrangements Orders
If you have a child arrangements order in place that sets out the parenting arrangements for your child then if you stop contact you are likely to be in breach of the court order. Your ex-partner could apply to enforce the child arrangements order and you could apply to vary the child arrangements order.
If you are following government advice to self-isolate because a member of your family is unwell then your ex should not apply to enforce an order and you should not need to apply to vary the child arrangements order because of your self-isolation. However, if it isn’t a self-isolation or lockdown situation, but you want to change or stop contact arrangements because of the coronavirus and any high risk concerns, you may need to look at what your child arrangements order says and your ex –partner may want to apply for a child arrangements order so contact isn’t stopped.
Cheshire children law solicitors say that the use of children court proceedings should always be the ‘last resort’ and it is best to try to negotiate a change in a child arrangements by agreement.
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Sorting out contact during the coronavirus outbreak
It is all very well for children law solicitors to talk about trying to reach an agreement about stopping or changing contact arrangements but many parents say that it is far harder to do that in reality. That is certainly true but sometimes it takes a children law solicitor to cut through the parental history of mistrust and get to the real issues.
In these unprecedented times it is inevitable that parents will want to protect their children and to ‘wrap them up in cotton wool’. What parent wouldn't? However it is important for parents to take a step back and think that the coronavirus pandemic won't be with us for ever and that when the UK comes out of the current crisis you still want to be on speaking terms with your ex-partner or at least be able to communicate with them over the parenting arrangements.
Therefore, if you are contemplating stopping or changing contact Cheshire children law solicitors recommend that you:
Think about the reasons why you want to stop or change contact. Can contact still take place through reducing risks , for example , by you driving the children to contact rather than older children or the other parent using public transport to get to your ex-partner’s house or can you change the contact drop off point
Consider if you can agree consistent rules on what the children can do during their time with the other parent. That way one parent isn’t doing all the home schooling and enforcing a curfew and activity restrictions for older children whilst the other parent carries on as normal
Think about the alternatives to direct contact, such as facetime or Skype or phone. Bed time stories by facetime maybe something small children would love and the offer of such contact might reassure your ex that you aren’t trying to cut them out, but you want they want; happy and healthy children
Take legal advice as sometimes an experienced children law solicitor can help you find resolutions that you had not thought about or help you with the words to help your ex understand why you are so particularly worried about coronavirus and child contact. It can undoubtedly be hard for an ex-partner to hear that you want to stop or reduce contact when they and the children haven’t done ‘anything wrong’ and seeing the children is helping them get through the coronavirus outbreak. However, this is a time when a children law solicitor can help you both focus on what is best for the children, whether that is getting you help with your fears, or helping your ex-partner to understand any particular high risk issues.
Online Children Law Solicitors
Evolve Family Law provide a full range of online children law services with appointments available with specialist children law solicitors by telephone appointment, video conference or Skype. If you need legal help call us or contact us online
When most of us see headlines about compensation we think that the newsworthy case must be a civil claim for compensation arising out of a road traffic accident or medical negligence. However, in the news last week was a case on ‘divorce compensation’. In this blog we look at what is meant by divorce compensation.Cheshire Divorce solicitors
If you are in the process of a separation or divorce and want advice on a financial settlement then the family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children proceedings, the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online.Divorce compensation
Divorce compensation is in all the newspapers because of a case involving two solicitors. The couple had been married for about ten years and have two children together. The family wealth amounts to about ten million. The family judge ordered that the husband and wife should each get fifty percent, around five million each.
You may think that £5 million each is a just and fair award as after all the couple had been married for nearly a decade. However, the judge went onto order that the wife should get an extra £400,000 for what was termed by the judge as ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ or divorce compensation.
The judge made the additional £400,000 award because the wife and mother, a Cambridge law graduate, had sacrificed her career as a solicitor to look after the couple’s two children.
The court decision will be of interest to many as it is common for one partner in a relationship to step back from their career to become a house husband or wife or to try to juggle child care and home making with a part time career, thus losing out on job promotions and work bonuses. Often the philosophy is that either a husband or wife has to step back from their career as if they equally share the childcare commitment both careers will suffer.
In some family situations, where one spouse has a lower earnings capacity than the other, the choice may be painfully obvious as to who should take on the role of the main breadwinner. However, in the reported case both husband and wife started out their married life as qualified solicitors and both (rather than one) could have had stellar careers had it not been for the decision to forgo a career to look after the couple’s children.
Can I get divorce compensation?
When a case hits the headlines many people, lawyers included, think that divorce compensation will be the ‘new thing’ and that everyone will be claiming for relationship generated disadvantage. However, the judge in the recent court case, made it clear in his ruling that his decision in the case of the two unnamed lawyers should not open the floodgates to a plethora of relationship generated disadvantage divorce compensation claims. The judge said that relationship generated disadvantage claims should be limited to where there are truly exceptional circumstances.
How do I claim for relationship generated disadvantage?
Compensation for relationship-generated disadvantage can be included as part of your financial claim in divorce financial proceedings. You cannot claim for relationship generated disadvantage if you are in a cohabiting relationship.
The relationship generated disadvantage claim is made as part of your financial settlement claims and assessed at the same time as the judge decides on:
What the family assets are
What your needs and your spouse’s needs are (and if you have children what your children’s needs are)
How your family assets should be divided between you
Whether you should get the family home or if it should be transferred to your spouse as part of the financial settlement or sold and the proceeds divided between you
Whether you or your spouse should receive a share of the other’s pension as part of the financial settlement
Whether a clean break order should be made to prevent further financial claims
Whether spousal maintenance should be paid and, if so, for how long and how much should be paid.
There are a host of other things that a judge has to consider such as whether one spouse should pay towards the other’s legal costs or not.
Any claim for divorce compensation or relationship generated disadvantage will be added to the list of issues for the judge to rule on and to explain why he/she has allowed an additional award for relationship generated disadvantage or ruled it out in their court judgment.
In the case of the two solicitors it was clearly evident that the wife had given up a lucrative career to care for children and that she had a case to say, that with her qualifications, she could have enjoyed an equally stellar career as her husband had it not been for the fact that the arrival of children seriously damaged her ability to work in a demanding career as a solicitor.
You may take the view that with a financial settlement of around five million the wife did not need the extra £400,000 for ‘relationship generated disadvantage’ as the five million would more than meet her reasonable needs. However, the court has said in previous cases where divorce compensation arguments have been raised, that relationship generated disadvantage is relevant even if their future needs have been met generously through the financial settlement. That is because one spouse has given up their ability to generate an income surplus to needs and so in an exceptional case they can ask a judge to rule that their husband or wife should pay an element of ‘divorce compensation’.Cheshire Divorce solicitors
If you are separating or getting divorced and are worried about your financial settlement then whether or not you gave up your career you need expert legal advice on your best financial settlement options.
The family law team at Evolve Family Law can help you. Specialising in complex financial settlement claims and children law proceedings the friendly and approachable divorce solicitors, based at Holmes Chapel Cheshire and Whitefield North Manchester, can help you reach a financial settlement that works for you and your family. Call us on 0345 222 8 222 or contact us online .
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As a Cheshire children solicitor I get asked the question ‘can I stop my ex taking our child on holiday?’ That is understandable as most parents are anxious when their child goes off for the weekend, let alone a holiday with your ex. In this blog we answer your frequently asked questions about whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday.
Can I stop my ex taking our child on holiday?
Whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday will depend on:
Whether there is a child custody order(also known as a residence order or a child arrangements order). If so, does the order say whether your ex can take your child on holiday? If it does, then have circumstances changed so you can apply to court to vary or change the order to stop your ex taking your child on holiday?
Is the holiday in the UK or does your ex plan to take your child abroad? If a foreign holiday is proposed how long is the holiday for and what is the destination?
Are there any child abduction concerns that are making you particularly concerned about the holiday? For example, is your concern that your child is being taken to see extended family outside Europe and you have read and googled that the country they are going to isn’t signed up to the Hague Convention?
Prior to talking to a children solicitor about whether you can stop your ex taking your child on holiday it is best to think about the reasons why you object to the holiday. For some parents the answer is obvious, such as you fear child abduction whereas for others it is just a gut fear or your objection to the holiday may be down to:
The dates your ex wants to take your child on holiday – for example, do the dates clash with your Christmas, Easter or your summer holiday plans?
Who will be accompanying your child on holiday – for example, is your ex going on holiday with his new partner and their children. Are you worried about your child spending time with the new partner or them not getting on with the other children who will be going?
The destination of the holiday, as after all a holiday to an English Caravan Park or to European Beach holiday is very different to a trip to the Far East or middle East to meet extended family or for cultural reasons
Do you have concerns about your ex’s drinking habits and do you worry that if you are not there, your child will be neglected whilst your ex gets drunk
Are you angry that your ex can afford to take your child on an expensive holiday but can't or won't pay child support to you so you can't afford to go on a similar trip?
There are many other reasons why you may object to your ex taking your child on holiday but sometimes it helps to make a list as there may be more than one reason why you feel so strongly about the holiday. Some of those reasons may be practical ones and others may be emotional, for example, your ex is taking his new partner and your child on holiday to the same resort you all used to go to as a family.
I have a court order so can I stop my ex taking my child on holiday?
If a mother or a father has a court order saying that the child lives with them(for example a child arrangements order) then you can:
Stop your child going on holiday unless there is a child arrangements order in place for the other parent that covers holiday contact in the UK or overseas
If the holiday contact in the child arrangements order doesn’t cover travel abroad then your ex won't be able to take your child overseas on holiday unless they get your written agreement or a family court order that says they have court permission to take your child either to a specified foreign country for a holiday or a general order that says they can take the child on a foreign holiday each year.
Every children court order is phrased differently so if you are at all unsure about what your court order says and whether your ex needs your permission or a court order to take your child on holiday then speak to a Cheshire children solicitor.
Can I get a court order to stop my ex taking my child on holiday?
You can apply to court to get an order to stop your ex from taking your child on holiday. It is best to speak to a Cheshire children solicitor about whether you need to apply for an order as it will all depend on whether there are any existing court orders. If there are then it may not be necessary to make an application to court or you may need to apply to vary a court order rather than apply for a new court order.
For example, if your ex wants to take your child on holiday abroad and they don’t have a child arrangements order to say that they are the main carer the onus is on them to apply to court to get permission to take your child on a foreign holiday out of the UK unless you give your written consent to the holiday.
If you think that your ex will just take your child without bothering to apply for a court order then you can make an application to court for a specific issue or prohibited steps order prohibiting the holiday from taking place.
If your ex is your child’s main carer and they have a child arrangements order in place which says the child lives with them, then normally this order allows them to take your child on holiday abroad for up to four weeks. They therefore don’t need your permission to take your child abroad provided the holiday is for less than four weeks. However, if you object to the holiday (for example, because you fear child abduction) then you can apply to court for an order to prohibit the foreign holiday from taking place.
If your objection is to your ex taking your child on holiday in the UK then you can still apply for an order to try and stop the holiday although you would have to have good reason for the objection as generally speaking there is less opposition to a child being taken away on holiday in the UK unless, for example:
The child is young and hasn’t had a lot of contact with the other parent and so would be anxious and fret
The holiday is unsuitable, for example , a golf holiday where you anticipate your child will be cared for by your ex’s new partner rather than spend quality time with a parent
Your ex wants to go away on holiday at the only time that you can take off to go away on holiday or their holiday plans will mean that you don’t get to spend time with your child over Christmas or will stop your child from going to a family wedding or other celebration
Your ex is planning a camping holiday in the Autumn half term and your child is asthmatic or has special health needs.
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Should I object to my child going on holiday?
If a parent wants to object to their child going on holiday most people’s first thoughts are that a child should be able to enjoy a holiday with each of his or her separated parents. Whilst that is true it is also correct that if you have any concerns about your child then it is your job as a parent to protect your child and stand up for what is in their best interests.
Sometimes children don’t know what is best for them as whilst your child may be very excited about a trip to a far flung destination they won't understand your child abduction fears and the reasons behind why you are so worried about the holiday.
A Cheshire children solicitor will normally ask you to look at the reasons why you object to your child going on a holiday in the UK or overseas and to consider whether those reasons are about you or your child. For example, if your real issue is that your ex can afford a holiday but isn’t paying child support your children solicitor can make a child support application for you. If your issue is the destination of the holiday or its length then perhaps some compromise can be made so a holiday can take place but your child is safe.
If you need help with holiday contact or need a holiday contact order then our expert team of specialist children law solicitors at Holmes Chapel and Whitefield can help you. Call us or contact us online.
In the past you could only get a judge to make a family law injunction order if there had been domestic violence involving a trip to the hospital or doctor. Those days are long gone with family judges realising that any form of domestic violence, from serious sexual assault to slap or push, is unacceptable. The law now allows you to apply for a family law injunction order if you are subjected to coercive control and behaviour. In this blog we look at what is meant by coercive control and behaviour.
Evolve Family Law solicitors are approachable and friendly, providing expert divorce, children and financial settlement advice, with experience in handling separations or divorces where a partner has been abusive or is narcissistic and controlling. Contact us today and let us help you.
What is Coercive Behaviour?
The question ‘what is coercive behaviour?’ is a good one as what one person would describe as coercive and controlling behaviour may be the normal experience of a husband, wife or partner who is so used to such controlling behaviour that they have become immune to it and adapted their life and thought processes around their partner’s behaviour so as not to upset them or to fit in.
It is often only when you see your husband, wife, or partner starting to exercise the same coercive behaviour on your child and you see the impact of that behaviour on your child’s demeanour and personality that you realise that you have got to do something. In other families it takes a close friend or family member to point out that what your partner sees as loving behaviour is actually stifling you and is coercive behaviour.
From a Cheshire divorce and family law solicitor’s perspective coercive behaviour is any act designed to force or coerce you into doing something against your will or that is intended to harm or intimidate you. Acts can include physical threats as well other forms of humiliation or words said by your partner that make you feel as if you are no longer in control of your life or actions.
The government says that coercive and controlling behaviour is an act designed to make you feel subordinate or dependent on your partner and gives examples of:
Isolation from friends and family
Stopping you from being independent
Regulating your behaviour.
Examples of Coercive Behaviour
It is all very well to be told what the government thinks is coercive behaviour but how does that translate into real life? Below are some examples of real life coercive behaviour:
Controlling what you eat and weigh (it may be said that this is for ‘your own good’ to make you attractive but it is still coercive and controlling behaviour)
Stopping you from having a shower or bath at times other than stipulated
Preventing you from leaving the family home on your own or stopping you from seeing your friends and family
Restricting your access to money so you only get an allowance to buy food and have to account for any money spent by you
Telling you that you can't pick up the baby or play with the children other than at times allowed
Telling you that you can't go online or monitoring your computer and telephone usage
Dictating what clothes you should wear (either too modest or too flamboyant for your taste) or saying what make-up you can wear (if any).
Coercion and control doesn’t just happen to women in heterosexual relationships. Women can also coerce and control their male partners or husbands. Coercion and control also occurs in same sex relationships.
If something amounts to coercive and controlling behaviour then it doesn’t matter if you are married, in a civil partnership or cohabiting and living together. It is the act or behaviour that is important rather than the legal status of your family relationship.
Recognising Coercive Behaviour
Coercive and controlling behaviour can be insidious and hard for you or your friends and family to spot. That is because the coercion can be subtle (for example, ‘you look fat or tarty in that outfit’) or the degree of control can grow slowly over time so you don’t recognise it for what it is (for example, getting you to agree that it is too much hassle to see your mother every week to eventually telling you who you can and can't see).
When you are in a relationship, or you are a close friend or family member, it can be hard to spot or recognise coercive behaviour, often because it is dressed up as ‘only wanting to do what is best’ or because it is said you are so stupid or mentally unwell that your partner or husband or wife knows what is best for you.
Don’t forget that coercion and controlling behaviour doesn’t have to be face to face. Some of the most intimidating coercive behaviour can be carried out by bombarding someone with text messages and phone calls or remotely spying on activities.
What can I do about coercive behaviour in my relationship?
If you are being subjected to coercion and control in your relationship then you can:
Try and get your partner to see his/her behaviour for what it is. This may involve counselling to get to the root cause of the coercive behaviour. In some family situations the nature of the coercive control is such that it is not safe or healthy for you to stay in the relationship and so counselling and trying to stay together may not be a realistic option as you need to leave the family home and separate permanently
Separate and start divorce proceedings. If your husband or wife has exercised coercive or controlling behaviour you should be able to start divorce proceedings based on their unreasonable behaviour. Even if you don’t want to start divorce proceedings based on your spouse’s unreasonable behaviour it is still important to tell your divorce solicitor about the behaviour. They can talk to you about your divorce proceedings options, such as starting divorce proceedings on your partner’s new relationship (adultery)
Separate and start injunction proceedings. An injunction order is made by the family court. The court can either make a non-molestation or an occupation order to protect you and your children
Make a complaint to the police. The Serious Crime Act 2015 created a new criminal offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in intimate or familial relationship’. If your partner is found guilty then in a serious case of coercive behaviour they could be sent to prison for up to five years.
What is a non-molestation order?
A non-molestation injunction order is a family court order that stops the person who is behaving in a coercive or controlling manner towards you or your child from continuing to do so.
What is an occupation order?
An occupation injunction order is a family court order that stops the person who is behaving in a coercive or controlling manner towards you or your child from continuing to live at the family home or from re-entering the family home or restricts your partner or spouse from certain rooms in the family home.
Breaching an injunction order
If your partner or spouse breaches a family court injunction order then it is a contempt of court and a criminal offence.
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Talking to your divorce and family law solicitor about coercive behaviour
If you take the step of deciding to speak to a Cheshire divorce solicitor about your marriage or relationship it is important to tell them about the coercive control. Many people are too embarrassed to talk about their partner or spouse’s behaviour or they decide that their partner’s behaviour isn’t relevant because they don’t want to start divorce proceedings based on unreasonable behaviour or start injunction proceedings.
Even if you don’t want your divorce solicitor to act on the coercive behaviour information you give them, it is still important to tell them about it so that they understand why you may have concerns about your children having contact and why you want a child arrangements order or why you may want a financial settlement that includes a clean break financial court order so there are no ongoing financial ties between you and your husband or wife.
Cheshire divorce solicitors won't judge you or criticise you for not leaving your partner any earlier. However, what they will do is support you during your relationship breakdown, finding the best long term family solutions for you and your family and to do that they need to know about the coercive and controlling behaviour to help you and your family.
Don’t you feel that some days you have just had enough? If your ex-partner, former husband or wife is making your life difficult, if not impossible, over contact with your child then that’s often the stage that Cheshire divorce solicitors are asked the question ‘Can I stop access to my child?’ There are many reasons why you might want to stop access or contact by your child’s other parent and that is why it is best to take legal advice from a Cheshire divorce and children law solicitor before stopping access.
Stopping access
Stopping access to your child is a big step to take and it is vital that you get it right. The repercussions of getting the decision wrong can be:
The child’s other parent applying to court to enforce any existing access or contact order
The child’s other parent applying to court and getting a child arrangements order so they have a court order for access to your child
Your child blaming you for the decision to stop access and saying that they want to see or even to live with their other parent
Your child’s other parent alleging that you have stopped access because of parental alienation (you are trying to alienate and distance your child from their other parent without any justification for doing so).
Whatever the background to your separation or divorce and the reasons why you feel driven to stop access, it often helps to sit down with a Cheshire children solicitor to look at your options and the alternatives to stopping access.
Reasons for stopping access
There are many reasons why you may want to stop access, such as:
Your child says they don’t enjoy their contact visits with their other parent as they are boring and they would rather be at home
You feel intimidated when your ex-partner calls to collect or return your child
Your ex-partner has stopped paying child support and you don’t think contact should take place if they can't be bothered to provide child support
You don’t want your child to see your former husband or wife's new partner during access visits
Your ex-partner keeps turning up late or cancels contact visits at the last moment so you don’t know, from one week to the next, whether contact will take place or not
The children always return from an access visit all ‘hyper’ and overtired and then can't settle back into their routine with you for days.
Those are just some of the reasons given for wanting to stop contact. It is vital to discuss the reasons to see if there are alternatives, such as:
Talking to your former partner about the contact visits to make them more fun for your child, rather than sitting around watching the TV. Those discussions don’t have to take place direct if you don’t think that would work. You could attend a joint meeting with your children law solicitor or use family mediation
You could agree that your child is collected from school or from a relative’s home to stop you having to come face to face with your ex-partner at contact collection and return times and so you are not intimidated or upset by the access handovers
You could let contact take place but apply to the Child Maintenance Service for child support
You could use a solicitor roundtable meeting or family mediation to discuss why you don’t want your child coming into contact with a new partner or the effect of missed contact visits or too much sugar, to see if your former partner will listen to your concerns.
As a parent you need to do what is best for your child and, after exploring the alternatives, you may conclude that stopping access is in your child’s best interests. How you should go about that will depend on whether there are any existing children court orders in place.
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Court orders and stopping access
If there is an existing:
Residence order
Contact or access order
Child arrangements order
Then you should take legal advice before stopping access to your former partner to your child. That’s because if you don’t take legal advice on the existing children court order you could find yourself responding to enforcement court proceedings.
If there is an existing court order in place, such as a contact order or child arrangements order, then you may need to make an application to the family court to vary the existing children court order before you can stop contact.
If there is no existing court orders in place you may be able to stop access but it is still best to take legal advice from a specialist Cheshire children law solicitor before doing so. That’s because a children solicitor can talk to you about alternate options and the prospects of your former partner applying to court so they can see your child under a child arrangements order. Sometimes, by stopping access quickly, after a particularly bad incident or trying weekend, it can play into the hands of your former partner and just create more headaches and hassle for you.
Our expert Cheshire children solicitors can look objectively at your options and help you work out what’s the best alternative for you and your children.
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