Can I Record My Child And Use The Recording In My Child Arrangement Order Application?
It's beyond frustrating when you know your child wants to live with you or spend longer with you but no one is listening.
Our North West family law solicitors are asked whether parents can secretly record their children and use the video clip as evidence in court.
If you need help with sorting out custody or contact our experts can advise you on a child arrangement order application and represent you.
For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Should I record my child saying they want more contact?
If you are separated and your ex-partner is adamant your child says they don’t want to spend more time with you it is tempting to prove your ex wrong. You may want to openly or covertly record your child’s views on their living arrangements. Here are five reasons why it’s not a good idea:
Your ex-partner won't believe the recording
Your former partner will say you manipulated your child
Your child will be told you can't be trusted
Your ex-partner may stop the contact you currently have
Your ex will bring up the fact that you recorded your child if you make a child arrangement order application
Can I secretly record my child and show the recording to the CAFCASS officer?
Some parents are tempted to covertly record their children because the referral to CAFCASS seems slow. That’s because, according to CAFCASS statistics, between April 2023 and March 2024 the organisation received 39,661 children’s private law referrals.
If you have applied for a child arrangement order and you are getting a bad vibe about what the CAFCASS Section 7 report may say then don’t make the situation worse by secretly recording your child saying that they want to live with you or spend more time with you.
If you tell a CAFCASS officer that you have a recording they will want to disclose that to the court and the other parent. The recording may flag up safeguarding concerns. For example, was the child coerced into saying what they said or manipulated? The recording may also raise trust issues. Can you be trusted not to record what the other parent says to you or your meetings with the CAFCASS officer?
Can I use a recording of my child as evidence in a child arrangement order application?
Let's set the scene. The CAFCASS officer has filed a Section 7 report in your child arrangement order application. The CAFCASS officer says your son does not want extra contact with you. You don’t agree and have recorded your son saying they want to spend every minute of every weekend with you. It’s a cute video. When the CAFCASS officer gives evidence in court you plan to play her your covert recording.
It reads like one of those TV court moments. What we can guarantee is:
The judge will be unimpressed by your actions and
The CAFCASS officer won't say in the witness box that the recommendations in their report are wrong
Your actions may mean that you end up with less contact than the judge might otherwise have ordered.
When can I use a covert recording of my child in a child arrangement order application?
A covert recording can rarely be used in a child arrangement order, specific issue order, prohibited steps order or relocation order application.
The reason why CAFCASS officers are asked to prepare a court report on your child’s wishes and feelings is so they can independently find out your child’s views on living arrangements and make recommendations. If you secretly record your child and ask to use the recording as evidence the judge will decide whether to allow you to do so. They make their decision based on previous case law and guidance issued by the Family Justice Council.
If I can't use a recording, can I ask the judge to meet my child?
It is rare for the judge to meet with a child because:
It is thought that going to court is stressful for children
The child doesn’t get to decide on the child arrangement order application
The CAFCASS officer's job is to relay your child’s wishes to the court
If the judge does decide to see an older child, the judge will normally meet them in a private room and not in the courtroom. Neither parent will be present at the meeting although the judge will relay the gist of what the young person said.
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If I can't use a recording of my child, how can I involve them in sorting out their living arrangements?
Understandably parents and older children can get frustrated if they think they are not being listened to. Equally children of any age should not think that if they say what they want to do then that’s what will happen. Their preferred residence or contact plans may not be suitable for either parent or fit in around parental work schedules.
There are lots of ways your child can get involved in working out the best post-separation living arrangements:
Family discussions
Family mediation
Being made a party to the court proceedings
Family discussions only work if you and your ex-partner can have a civil discussion. If not, it isn’t fair to involve your child in direct discussions.
Family mediation can include an older child but the mediator must be qualified in this type of mediation. It can work well if you have a teen - although neither you nor your ex-partner may like what your child has to say.
When child arrangement order proceedings are started, either parent can ask the judge to order that the child is joined as a party to the court application. It's rare for the court to agree to this request other than in complicated situations or where the court thinks that neither parent is saying what the child wants.
Why should I not video-record what residence and contact arrangements my child wants?
Covert video recordings may appear the simple solution when you and your ex can't agree on what your child wants but:
Your child’s wishes are not the only factor in deciding living arrangements
Court guidelines and caselaw are against it
Recordings can be counter-productive
You may be found to be manipulative and controlling
Before you decide to record your child either openly or covertly speak to a children law solicitor so you understand the implications and what it could mean for you in your battle to get to see more of your son or daughter.
For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Dec 21, 2024
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6 minute read
New Guidance on Alienating Behaviour and Parental Alienation Allegations in Children Law Proceedings
The Family Justice Council has issued new guidance for family courts in England and Wales on alienating behaviour and parental alienation.
The new guidance follows an increase in accusations of alienating behaviour to counter allegations of domestic abuse in child arrangement order applications.
Our North West family law solicitors can help if you are a separated or divorced parent and unable to agree on the parenting arrangements for your children. We can explain the court process and the non-court-based resolution options and advise you on the impact of allegations of domestic abuse and/or alienating behaviour on custody and contact arrangements.
For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
The Family Justice Council guidance on alienating behaviour
The 2024 Family Justice Council (FJC) guidance guides courts, family law professionals and parents on:
The terminology to use where there are allegations of alienating behaviour
The court process
How the courts should consider allegations of domestic abuse and alienating behaviour
The use of experts where allegations of alienating behaviour are made
Listening to children and assessing their welfare needs
Key points from the Family Justice Council guidance:
There are three key points from the FJC guidance:
Domestic abuse should not be equated with parental alienation
A child’s reluctance to see a parent does not mean they have been subject to parental alienation without evidence and a court finding of alienating behaviour
Findings of alienating behaviour will be rare
New terminology from the Family Justice Council guidance on alienating behaviour
The guidance suggests the use of the following terminology by courts and family law professionals:
Attachment, affinity and alignment (AAA) – why children may not want to spend time with one parent or reject a parent. These reasons are not due to psychological manipulation by a parent or alienating behaviour but just a child’s emotional response to their experience of being parented
Appropriate justified rejection (AJR) – where a child not wanting to spend time with one parent is considered an understandable response to the parent’s behaviour. The behaviour could be directed to the child or other parent. For example, if the child has witnessed domestic abuse towards one parent
Alienating Behaviours (AB) – psychologically manipulative behaviours (whether intentional or not) by a parent towards a child that results in the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to spend time with the parent
Protective Behaviours (PB) – behaviour by a parent to protect the child from exposure to abuse by the other parent, or from suffering harm or additional harm because of the other parent’s abuse. For example, if a parent has unresolved anger management or addiction issues that affect their parenting
Reluctance, resistance or refusal (RRR) – behaviours by a child over contact and their relationship with a parent and the reasons for the reluctance, resistance or refusal to see one parent may be due to a variety of potential causes
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Making allegations of alienating behaviour in child arrangement order proceedings
The new FJC guidance does not stop allegations of alienating behaviour being made by a parent unable to see their child or where they only have limited contact. However, the guidance does try to stop the practice of an allegation of alienating behaviour being made in child arrangement order applications where an accusation of domestic abuse has been made as an almost automatic counter to the initial allegation.
If a parent has engaged in alienating behaviour the person alleging the alienating behaviour needs to show that:
The child is reluctant, resisting or refusing to engage in a relationship with you
The child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal is related to the other parent's actions. If the child doesn’t want to see you for different reasons, then this is either called ‘’appropriate justified rejection’’ (AJR) or down to ‘’alignment, affinity or attachment’’ (AAA)
The other parent has engaged in behaviours that have directly or indirectly impacted on the child, leading to the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to engage in a relationship with you
If you think your child has been encouraged to reject you and to refuse contact with you it is important to say this at the outset of your child arrangement order application. This means the court can:
Consider which type of family court judge should decide your child arrangement order application
The type of involvement and report needed from CAFCASS
If there is a need for a separate finding of fact hearing and other case management issues
The need for expert evidence
The later you raise these allegations in the court process the harder you may find it to get the court to conclude that it is necessary and proportionate to fully investigate your concerns.
Responding to allegations of alienating behaviour in child arrangement order applications
If you are a parent accused of alienating behaviour it’s important to talk to a specialist family law solicitor who can explain the court process, your non-court resolution options and the best strategy to deal with the accusations of alienating behaviour.
This strategy will depend on whether you are the parent of a stroppy teenager who doesn’t want to spend much time with either parent or a clingy two-year-old who likes their routine and home comforts or a football/ballet-mad eight-year-old who doesn’t want to miss out on matches or performances.
Whatever your family circumstances or child’s age our children lawyers can help you if you are a separated or divorced parent unable to agree on the parenting arrangements for your children and in a dispute over the reasons why a child does not want to spend time with one parent.
For family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Dec 19, 2024
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5 minute read
How Often is Child Maintenance Recalculated? Can Child Maintenance be Varied?
When you are a separated parent you need to know how much you will be receiving or paying in child support. Otherwise, how do you know if you can afford your mortgage or rent payments or if you can book to take your child on holiday? Whether you think the child maintenance payments are too high or too low there is some benefit in knowing there is a fixed amount payable. However, our Northwest family law solicitors are asked about when child maintenance can be recalculated and varied.
For expert family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Can child maintenance be varied?
Child maintenance can be varied. How and when you go about doing so depends on how the payments are made. The payments could be through:
Voluntary payments – called a family based agreement
Child Maintenance Service with the Service either just carrying out the assessment or assessing the figure and sorting out the payments
Family court order
Who can ask for child maintenance to be changed?
The person paying the child support or the parent receiving it can ask for the level of child maintenance to be changed. For example, the parent paying child support is entitled to ask for child maintenance to be reviewed if:
Parenting arrangements change. For example, if the child moves to live with them, the arrangements are changed to shared parenting or if there is an increase in overnight contact visits
Income changes. For example, they lose their job, overtime payments or other sources of income
Personal or financial circumstances change such as moving in with a partner who has children, having another child, separating from a partner and being assessed as liable to pay child support for other children, increasing pension contributions
Sometimes the parent paying child maintenance thinks a review of child support is justified when under the child maintenance rules it isn’t. For example, if the parent who receives the child support:
Starts a new relationship and their partner moves in so the parent is getting help with their bills
Has a change of financial circumstances such as getting a promotion at work, a better paid job or inherits money
Stops child contact without good reason but expects child support to still be paid
Uses the child maintenance money in a way that the payer is unhappy about. For example, the parent looking after the children going off on annual holidays without the children or appears to spend the child support on their own clothes and hobbies rather than on the children
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Can a parent request a review of child support?
A paying parent or a parent receiving child support can always ask for a review of child support where the child maintenance is being paid voluntarily. Child support will not normally go up by inflation unless that is how you agree to increases in child support. If you have been using the Child Maintenance Service formula to calculate the maintenance payable for your child it is usual to review the amount based on any changes to the paying parent’s gross income and any other relevant changes, such as the frequency of overnight contact.
Will the Child Maintenance Service carry out a child support review?
The Child Maintenance Service will carry out an annual review of an earlier child support assessment to see if the child maintenance figure should go up or down. A request can be made for an earlier review but the Child Maintenance Service will normally only undertake the review if there has been a change of 25% or more in the paying parent’s gross income or other limited situations.
Will the court vary the amount of child support payable?
The court can only make a child support order for a biological child in limited circumstances. If the child support is for a stepchild the Child Maintenance Service does not have jurisdiction and a court order can be made and varied. In most cases, where the court order is for child maintenance for a biological child, once the court order is over 12 months old you cannot apply back to the court to vary or enforce it.
What happens if I need more financial support?
If you need more child support than the child maintenance calculation provided by the Child Maintenance Service (or after you have carried out your own online calculation) then provided you were married or in a civil partnership with the child’s biological parent you can ask for spousal maintenance in addition to the child support.
You won't be able to ask for spousal maintenance if:
You were not married or in a civil partnership with the child’s other parent
You agreed to a clean break financial court order as part of your divorce financial settlement
You have remarried
What happens if I can't afford child maintenance?
If you can't afford to pay child support you can negotiate a reduction if you are paying voluntarily or you can ask the Child Maintenance Service to conduct a review based on a change in your circumstances. If your gross income has not changed but your outgoings have increased this will not change the amount payable by you in child maintenance other than in limited circumstances. For example, if your mortgage payments have gone up your child support payments stay the same unless there has been a change in your gross income.
Legal advice and child support
Asking for a review of the amount of child support can make the relationship between separated or divorced parents more difficult. However, the amount paid in child support must be kept under review as the figure will need to go up or down as income levels change. Our family law solicitors can help you negotiate child support as part of your divorce financial settlement or we can help you review the amount of child maintenance payable when financial or contact arrangements change.
For friendly expert family law advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Dec 02, 2024
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6 minute read
Tips on Dealing With an Unreasonable Ex in Your Divorce
Do you need help with your divorce or in sorting out a financial settlement or child residence and contact arrangements for your children? In an ideal world, you would reach an agreement with your ex but that may not be possible if they are being unreasonable.
Our family law solicitors offer some tips on how to handle an unreasonable ex in a divorce.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Divorce proceedings and unreasonable behaviour
You used to have to say that an ex had behaved unreasonably to help you secure a divorce. That is no longer necessary as the government has introduced no-fault divorce proceedings so all you now need to say is that your marriage has broken down irretrievably without needing to explain why.
Although you no longer need to prove unreasonable behaviour to get a divorce the issue of an ex behaving unreasonably is still highly relevant.
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Is your ex behaving unreasonably?
It is worth asking yourself if your ex is behaving unreasonably as sometimes you can lose perspective. That may be because you have been subject to so much emotional abuse during your relationship that you think that your ex’s behaviour is normal rather than coercive and controlling. Alternatively, you may want to stay in the family home and can't see your ex’s point of view that if you don’t sell the property and split the equity, they won't be able to afford anywhere to live or their argument that it would therefore be reasonable for you to downsize.
A family law solicitor can help you look at whether your ex’s behaviour is acceptable or not. If your ex has a reasonable case to put forward then there should be some prospect of your being able to reach a parenting agreement or financial settlement through solicitor negotiation or family mediation.
Saying what behaviour is unreasonable or not is always difficult as so much depends on context. A spouse leaving the family home and disappearing without explanation and not sorting out child contact seems unreasonable but may be wholly justified if the spouse is fleeing domestic violence and needs to get themselves and the children to a place of safety and secure an injunction order before they can even consider if contact can be managed safely.
Examples of unreasonable behaviour by an ex
Our family law solicitors come across many examples of unreasonable behaviour when assisting with divorce, children law or financial settlement negotiations or proceedings, such as:
Complete refusal to provide financial disclosure so your only option is to start financial proceedings and get orders for financial disclosure because you can't reach a fair financial settlement unless you know the extent of your ex’s assets and income
An ex-partner transferring assets to their parents or siblings to try and keep the assets out of the financial settlement
Refusing to agree to any contact with the children without any good grounds to stop or restrict contact and when the children are keen to see you with your ex knowing that it will take you a while to get a child arrangement order
Refusing to return the acknowledgement form in no-fault divorce proceedings – you can still get divorced but it takes a bit longer
After the court has made an order for the sale of the family home refusing to agree to viewings or being unwilling to listen to advice from the estate agent about the sale price. You can still get the family home sold but you may need to apply back to court for another order to implement the sale and to ask the court to order that your ex pays the extra costs associated with that hearing
Tips on dealing with an unreasonable ex during your divorce
The first advice on dealing with an unreasonable ex is to privately acknowledge to yourself that your ex’s unreasonable behaviour just confirms that separation and divorce are the right options for you. Our other tips are:
Take advice and don’t accept unreasonable behaviour by your ex as ‘just your ex’ and how they behave
Get your family law solicitor to write to your ex and explain the consequences of their behaviour. For example, transferring assets to third parties will result in a freezing injunction order application and you asking the court to order that your ex pays the costs of the injunction application and make adverse inferences in the financial settlement proceedings about his actions and financial nondisclosure
Make sure you get the support you need. That could be from family, friends or a counsellor
Take a long-term view on dealing with your ex as their game plan may be to behave so badly that you are deterred from applying for a child arrangement order as you think it will be pointless or to make you think that you may as well accept the financial settlement they are offering as the ex is being so difficult about financial disclosure
Think about your children- if you cannot battle on for yourself then we recommend that you do so for your children as they will be the ones affected by the parenting arrangements or by an unfair financial settlement that means you can't support them in the way you should have been able to do so
At some point, you will either need to reach an agreement or secure a court order but your ex’s unreasonable behaviour should not dictate the agreement or orders made.
For expert advice call our team of specialist divorce lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Sep 02, 2024
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5 minute read
Can a Grandparent Apply to the Court for a Contact Order?
In the run-up to school holidays, there are grandparents across Northwest England who either have no contact with their grandchildren or the occasional brief meeting. As specialist family law solicitors we understand how distressing it is for them when other grandparents excitedly talk about their family holiday plans or mention the exhaustion of looking after little ones when they are in their 60s or 70s.
If you are a grandparent who either isn’t seeing your grandchildren or not seeing them as much as you would like then you can apply to court for a grandparent contact order.
For expert advice call our team of specialist children lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Does a grandparent need a family law solicitor?
If you are not seeing your grandchildren as much as you would like then it sounds as if you do need help from a family law solicitor.
A family lawyer will not rush you off to court without a backward glance. At Evolve Family Law we will carefully consider:
How much contact time you are getting with your grandchild
Whether you are likely to improve on that amount through a solicitor-based negotiation or family mediation or applying to the family court for a child arrangement order
The impact of raising contact on family dynamics
The reasons for a parent's objections to grandparent contact or the reason for the opposition to increasing the amount of time you spend with your grandchildren
What your grandchildren want assuming they are old enough to have a say
After looking at the advantages and disadvantages of non-court-based dispute resolution or making an application to the court to get an order you will be in a lot better position to decide on the right approach for you.
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Cut off from your grandchildren
If you have been cut off from your grandchildren you may not feel that you have a lot to lose by making a court application. That may be true but the Family Procedure Rules now require you to try to sort things out between yourselves before you ask the court to make an order in your favour. That may feel like a waste of time if your child, son-in-law or daughter-in-law is entrenched in their views and won't listen to common sense or pleas from you.
If you apply to the court before trying family mediation or before asking your family law solicitor to negotiate then the family court judge can adjourn your application for mediation or for discussions to take place. That’s why it is best to speak to a children lawyer to discuss non-court-based options as they can suggest a way forward that suits your situation. For example, family arbitration may be your preferred option once you have enough information about all the alternatives.
Applying for a grandparent contact order
A family law solicitor will tell you that there is no such thing as a grandparent contact order in English law. When parents and extended family cannot agree on who a child should live with and parental and extended family contact then parents and extended family can apply to the family court for a child arrangement order.
A parent has a legal right to apply for a child arrangement order. A grandparent must first apply for permission to apply for a child arrangement order. That step is not as difficult as it sounds and should not deter you from making a court application.
When deciding on a leave application by a grandparent the court will look at:
The connection to the child
The nature of the application for contact
Whether the application might harm the child’s well-being
Once you have permission to apply for your child arrangement order the court process is the same as a parent applying to the court for a child arrangement order. The court will assess if a child arrangement order and contact is in your grandchild’s best interests after considering a range of factors.
Will I get a grandparent contact order?
A family law solicitor will need to know the reasons why your child or son-in-law or daughter-in-law is refusing you contact with your grandchild. Generally, the family court thinks it is in a child’s best interests to have contact with their extended family, including maternal and paternal grandparents.
The parent of a child may no longer be in contact with their child after their separation or divorce. Maybe they are living a long distance away or working overseas or the parent with care may not have wanted contact because they have remarried. None of these are reasons to stop a grandparent from having a relationship with their grandchild.
Alternatively, a parent may say that it would be emotionally abusive for a grandparent to see a grandchild because of the extent of a family rift and because the child would be exposed to the grandparent’s negative views about the parents during contact.
Family dynamics can be very complicated but they can be successfully explored to help you obtain an order to enable you to see your grandchild even if you are not fully able to rebuild the relationship between your child or son or daughter-in-law.
The family law solicitors at Evolve Family Law can help you resume contact with your grandchild or extend the amount of time you can see them. Our lawyers provide specialist and sensitive advice as we understand that your priority is to spend time with your grandchildren so our focus is on that rather than criticising the child’s parents or others for past wrongs.
For expert advice call our team of specialist children lawyers or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Jul 12, 2024
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5 minute read
How to Deal With Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is one of those topics that parents feel embarrassed to talk about. If you are being prevented from seeing your child after a separation or divorce you may be worried that family, friends and colleagues will judge you assuming you must be the one at fault if you cannot get to see your child.
At Evolve Family Law our solicitors are experts in child arrangement order applications involving allegations of alienating behaviour. If you are being stopped from seeing your child our family law solicitors can help you sort out post-separation parenting arrangements for your child or enforce a child arrangement order if your ex-partner still will not let you see your child.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Are you to blame for parental alienation?
Lots of people assume that if parental alienation has taken place the parent who is not having contact with their child must have done something ‘’bad’’. However, the definition of parental alienation is one parent turning the mind of a child against the other parent and the child’s negative view of the parent is not justified by any parental behaviour. Instead, the child is being alienated from one parent by the other parent’s deliberate or unintentional psychological manipulation of the child.
How to deal with parental alienation
Sometimes it is obvious to everyone involved with a child, from family to schoolteachers and health professionals, that parental alienation is taking place. In other families, the process is more subtle but just as insidious.
For parents who fear parental alienation is taking place there are some tips on how to deal with parental alienation and maintain a relationship with your child.
We recommend that you:
Take legal advice quickly
If you think, your ex-partner or former husband or wife is talking inappropriately about you in front of your child it is important to act quickly. If you wait then the situation may get to the stage that the child is so alienated that they say that they do not want to have contact with you.
If you are not able to speak to your former partner directly then you could try speaking to a family member or you could suggest a referral to family mediation or family counselling. If those options do not solve the difficulties, do not delay in taking legal advice and looking at the option of applying for a child arrangements order.
If you delay in acting then if the parental alienation behaviour continues it will become harder to resolve the situation and repair the psychological damage experienced by your child.
Do not blame the child
It is normal to think ‘’my daughter is behaving just like her mother’’ or to say ‘’the apple does not fall far from the tree’’. When a child is playing up or refusing to speak to or see you, it is easy to transfer your frustration with the situation onto the child. After all, why can’t your child stand up for themselves and demand more contact with you or why can’t they at least look cheerful when they do see you? As frustrating as it is, blaming a child or showing your exasperation with the situation is likely to make the situation worse.
Do not blame the parent
When you get frustrated about parental alienation, it is easy to think that the solution is to tell your side of the story. In the process, you are likely to denigrate the other parent. Taking that approach is likely to make your child more insecure and anxious, and less inclined to have contact.
Do not walk away
The statistics of how many parents lose contact with their children after a separation or divorce are appalling. Many of those cases do not involve parental alienation but it is sometimes easy to think that your child would be ‘’better off’’ without you.
Most children law professionals believe that a child needs and deserves a loving relationship with both parents, even if that has to be achieved through the making of a child arrangements order.
Find time for other things in your life
If you experience parental alienation, it is easy to obsess over your ex-partner and their behaviour. By doing that you can play into their hands. It is important that you find time to enjoy other aspects of your life during any children court proceedings.
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What will the court do if it thinks that alienating behaviour is taking place?
If you make an application for a child arrangement order the court will carefully consider whether contact is in your child’s best interests. If a child is saying that they do not want contact because of parental alienation, the court can take some proactive steps to try to help you rebuild a relationship with your child. In extreme situations, where a judge finds that the alienating behaviour has caused emotional harm and that the primary carer does not understand the damage created by their actions, the judge can make an order to change the primary carer of the child.
How can Evolve Family Law help you?
Evolve Family Law is a specialist family law firm with offices in Cheshire and Whitefield, Manchester. Whatever your children or family law concern, Louise Halford and the children law team at Evolve Family Law solicitors will work with you to help you reach a solution.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Feb 16, 2024
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5 minute read
Planning Together for Children
Planning Together for Children is the name of a course run by the organisation CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support) for separated or divorced parents.
In this blog, our children law solicitors look at the Planning Together for Children course and explain your options if you are a separated parent struggling to reach an agreement with your ex-partner on post-separation parenting arrangements for your children.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Planning Together for Children has replaced the Separated Parents Information Programme (SPIP)
If your friends have told you that after they separated from their spouse, they went on a SPIP (or Separated Parents Information Programme) then you need to be aware that the Planning Together for Children has replaced the SPIP.
Can you use the Planning Together for Children resource?
Access to the Planning Together for Children resource is limited to those parents and carers who are ordered by a family court judge to attend the course or who are referred to the course by a Family Court Advisor in children law court proceedings.
You therefore cannot access the online E-learning resources or attend the Parenting Together for Children workshop if you are a separated parent who is looking for information to help you reach an agreement about the parenting arrangements for your children. Nor can you use the resource if you are struggling with sharing parenting responsibilities with your ex-partner but neither of you has applied to the court for a child arrangement order, prohibited steps order, specific issue order or relocation order.
Options if you cannot use the Planning Together for Children resource
If you want help in parenting together after separation there are a lot of useful books and online resources. If you need help with family dynamics speaking to a family therapist or counsellor may help as they may be able to assist you both in understanding the priorities of the other parent and help you focus on the best interests of your child when reaching a compromise about shared care, contact arrangements or parenting styles.
If you are struggling to reach an agreement about parenting after a separation or divorce you may not need to apply to court for a child arrangement order as you may be able to reach an agreement through:
Solicitor round table meeting
Solicitor negotiations
Family mediation
Once you have reached an agreement it is a good idea to record what you have agreed in a parenting plan. These types of plans need to be reviewed as your child grows up or circumstances change. For example, if your child wants to go to football sessions on a Saturday or ballet on a Wednesday after school or if one parent has to move house out of the area because of a job move.
You might also be interested in:
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A Planning Together for Children referral
If you are ordered by a judge to attend the Planning Together for Children course or a Family Court Advisor makes a request to the court for a referral there is no charge for accessing the online resources or going to the workshop.
Whilst you may not be a fan of e-learning or workshops it is important to try and get as much as possible from the course to give you the best shot possible of reaching an agreement with your ex-partner or being able to tell the family judge that you did so.
If you do not go to a Planning Together for Children course when ordered to do so by a judge the court may reorder your attendance on the course. This may delay your court application. Any delay or refusal to attend may make it less likely that the court will make the type of child arrangement order you are seeking.
What does the Planning Together for Children course cover?
The e-learning section of the course will look at matters such as:
What happens if you go ahead with the child arrangement order or specific issue order court application?
How a separation and how you handle the separation can affect your child
Conflict and its impact on your child
Looking at the family situation from your child’s perspective
Supportive co-parenting – what it is and how it works
Communication skills to help you listen to your child and co-parent
Once the e-learning section is completed you move on to a workshop. This will normally take place online. Although the workshop is normally held online there are never more than 6 parents in a workshop group. Your ex-partner will not be in the same workshop as you.
The workshop focuses on the negative impact of parental conflict on children, how best to manage conflict and how to improve communication with your child and ex-partner so you can effectively co-parent.
The course will encourage you to discuss and agree on a parenting plan for your child to set out the residence, contact and other important care details for your child to avoid the need for you or your ex-partner to go ahead with your child arrangement order application.
How can Evolve Family Law help you?
At Evolve Family Law all our family law solicitors are committed to resolving parenting disputes outside of court wherever possible. For example, through providing legal support during family mediation or helping you negotiate a parenting plan. Reaching an agreement is not always possible. For example, if you fear child abduction as your ex-partner has threatened to take your child overseas or if your ex-spouse is displaying alienating behaviour and refusing to let you see your child, or if you are concerned about contact arrangement because of a history of domestic violence.
Our family law solicitors will listen carefully to your needs and priorities and help you secure the agreement or court order you need for your children.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Jan 29, 2024
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5 minute read
Are We Married? Why it matters if you are married or not
You would think that people would know if they are married or not. It is however surprisingly common for either a husband or wife to ask the question ‘Are we married?’ Often the query crops up when a couple is separating or contemplating divorce proceedings.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Are you married?
Most people would think that a quick look at the wedding photo album would be sufficient to answer the question of whether the couple is married or not but that isn’t necessarily right.
One of the first questions for a family solicitor to ask is where the couple got married. If the ‘marriage’ took place in the UK the husband and wife may think that their ceremony of marriage means that they are legally wed. However, if the ceremony didn’t take place at a licensed venue or if the couple didn’t subsequently participate in a civil ceremony of marriage they may not be legally married in the UK.
The scenario isn’t that uncommon as often the focus is on the religious marriage ceremony, which has the real meaning for the couple and their family and friends. That can leave those, for example, who have enjoyed a Muslim religious ceremony of marriage or those who married in a Wiccan ceremony not legally married.
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Marriages in unlicensed venues
Most people won’t be surprised to hear that the law can step in and decide if a couple is married even if they didn’t comply with the UK legal requirements at the time of their marriage ceremony. A husband or wife can ask the court to declare that they are married if certain criteria are met. Invariably if declaration of marriage proceedings are started then either the husband or the wife is arguing that they aren’t legally married. That means there is a risk that the court will decide that the couple is not married.
Why marriage matters
If the court decides the couple isn’t married then there is no need for divorce proceedings. Importantly financial claims on separation will be limited as the husband and the wife won't be able to make claims against the other’s income or pension.
The type of ‘marriage’ ceremony can therefore affect whether a couple is treated as married in the eyes of the law or legally viewed as cohabitees. In some cases that can mean the difference between getting half the house and the pension and maintenance and getting nothing as a cohabitee.
Marriages that take place overseas
If the ‘marriage’ took place abroad there is often an assumption that the couple aren’t legally married in the UK. That is often an incorrect assumption as provided that the marriage was recognised as legally valid in the country in which it took place it is normally accepted in the UK as a marriage. That means that if the couple is settled in the UK they can get divorced in the UK and the English court will decide on how their assets are divided, even though they got married at a chapel in Las Vegas, a beach in the Caribbean, or a religious ceremony in their country of origin or choice.
These rules can throw up surprising results as the quickie marriage in the Las Vegas chapel may be a legally valid marriage in the UK whereas the well-photographed religious ceremony at an unlicensed venue may not be, even if attended by all of the couple’s family and friends.
If you are contemplating marriage then there is no reason why you can’t have the wedding of your choice in either the UK or abroad, but if you are planning a religious ceremony or a wedding at an unusual venue or abroad it is sensible to check the status of the ceremony so both bride and groom know where they stand.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Oct 25, 2023
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4 minute read
Alienating Behaviour & its Impact on Child Contact After Separation or Divorce
Parental alienation is a concept that has gained familiarity through divorce solicitors and child experts writing about the effect of parental alienation on the children of separated parents and on the parent who has been alienated.
A recent family court case has suggested the use of the words ‘alienating behaviour‘ rather than labelling one parent as guilty of parental alienation. In this blog, our children law expert Louise Halford looks at the case and looks at how to approach child arrangement order applications involving allegations of alienating behaviour.
As a specialist firm of Northwest family law solicitors, our lawyers can advise you on sorting out residence and contact arrangements after a separation or divorce and represent you in a child arrangement order application.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
What is alienating behaviour?
Alienating behaviour or parental alienation is where one parent turns a child against the other parent without good reason. You may think that there is never a good reason to cause a child to reject a parent but some level of anxiety about a parent-child relationship may be justified where there are, for example, very real fears of domestic violence or a concern that a child will get sucked into the other parent’s lifestyle choices, such as the parent’s drug or alcohol addiction.
In other families, a parent may not have created the child’s feelings of aversion towards the other parent. The child’s feelings may be down to the child’s misconception that one parent was entirely to blame for the marriage breakdown and for the sale of a much-loved family home resulting in the child needing to change schools.
In classic cases of parental alienation, there is no objective justification for the alienating behaviour. One parent, through no fault of their own, is squeezed out of their child’s life. Some parents decide to fight back and apply for a child arrangement order so they can continue a relationship with their child. That’s what happened in the case of Re C ("parental alienation" instruction of expert) [2023] EWHC 345 (Fam).
The judge, Sir Andrew McFarlane, said "The identification of ‘alienating behaviour’ should be the court’s focus, rather than any quest to determine whether the label parental alienation can be applied." That approach makes perfect sense as the behaviour needs to be the focus of the court investigation rather than the label.
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The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (the independent body tasked with providing reports to the court in children law proceedings for child arrangement orders, specific issue orders and prohibited steps orders) have issued guidance on the sort of behaviour a child might display if they have been alienated against one parent by the other.
Whilst the guidance is helpful, it’s best to not be too focused on blaming the other parent for your child’s response to requests for contact but to examine any other reasons for your child’s reluctance to see you. For example, older children can be heavily influenced by their friends or by their social commitments and they may hate the thought of spending time with either of their ‘uncool’ parents. Alternatively, a child may be anxious about a new school or about school exams but instead, refocus their anxiety on parental contact rather than address the real reasons for how they are feeling.
The impact of alienating behaviour
Alienating behaviour can have a devastating impact on a child’s relationship with either their mother or father. Once a child has been alienated and turned against a parent it can be extremely hard to change a child’s mindset that one parent is bad and that the other one is good and can do no wrong. A child’s simplistic view of their parents can lead to long-term emotional and psychological damage to the child. Initially, the child may seem happier that they have cut one parent out of their life, thus reducing the other parent’s antipathy to the weekly contact handover. However, in the longer term, the child may experience feelings of guilt or even reject the parent who encouraged them to stop or limit contact with their other parent.
As family lawyers, we understand that many parents don’t foresee the consequences of being openly hostile or critical of the other parent. To some parents saying what they think about their ex-partner in the presence of their child is a way of letting off steam after a difficult separation and a way of verbalising their own feelings of hurt and rejection. It can be an immense comfort to one parent when a child takes their side and is supportive. However, the parent’s feelings of anger can be projected onto the child who in turn then rejects their other parent, thinking that their views are all their own idea but, in reality, they stem from one parent’s alienating behaviour.
Any child arrangement order application involving allegations of alienating behaviour needs to be addressed with a measure of sensitivity and caution. Whilst a parent denied contact with their child wants action, and most importantly wants contact with their son or daughter, it’s best to acknowledge how essential it is to move forward at the child’s pace to repair any damage created through one parent’s alienating behaviour.
Our children law solicitors can advise you on sorting out residence and contact arrangements after a difficult separation or divorce and represent you in a child arrangement order application.
For expert family law advice call our team or complete our online enquiry form.
Louise Halford
Sep 13, 2023
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5 minute read
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